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Who`s in Control?

by apsara 

Posted: 24 October 2006
Word Count: 23
Summary: A bit of fun - a bit of liberty with given line...

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Spirit voices, in
my gin, telling me to drink.
Spirit voices, in
my head, telling me what to
think. Believer in free will.

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Comments by other Members

Beanie Baby at 11:16 on 24 October 2006  Report this post
This brought a smile to my face - although my tipple tends to be vodka. Like the way you got it to rhyme. That's quite hard for a tanka because the syllable beat is so specific - but it can be done as this poem shows.

Doesn't matter about the liberty with the line - the whole point is for the phrase to gun the creative flow and that is even more important with the flash group!!

Liked it very much, Tracey.


joanie at 20:07 on 24 October 2006  Report this post
Hi apsara. I liked this even without knowing what the excerise is!

Right!! I've checked it out and I am so impressed that you have used an eight syllable line in a tanka, which is 5-7-5-7-7!!! .... AND it rhymes!



radavies1uk at 18:05 on 28 October 2006  Report this post
I like it :) Cheers

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