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by peterxbrown 

Posted: 08 September 2003
Word Count: 13

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Nothing is the same
I face uncertain future
With sand in my eyes.

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Comments by other Members

olebut at 07:35 on 09 September 2003  Report this post

very profound


poemsgalore at 18:23 on 10 September 2003  Report this post
I like the idea of "sand in my eyes" showing how unclear the future is. lovely image.

Lisa at 23:08 on 10 September 2003  Report this post
This makes me think of sleep - perhaps just the image of sand in the eyes gives me that.

Gives a different resonance to the first two lines when looked at like that - which I like - new dawns and all that.

Nice one.


peterxbrown at 18:24 on 12 September 2003  Report this post
Thank you olebut,poemsgalore and Lisa.
I am glad "sand in my eyes works" and I like the sleep conotation.
I had the idea after speaking to a disillusioned soldier.Leave is meant to convey a soldiers visit home and also a request to go away (from Iraq?).Sand in my eyes is both literal and metaphorical. Troubled sleep certainly fits the mood. I think it works o.k.as a Haiku.

pene at 11:40 on 13 September 2003  Report this post
it worked for me, I really enjoyed this and feel there is not anything I can add to what has already been said.

LONGJON at 05:50 on 16 September 2003  Report this post
Hi Peter,

There's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't " in this, I feel. The sand is there because something or someone else put it there, and the only immediate remedy is to rub the eyes, which will quickly make it worse.

Ah well, life's a bitch, then you die, eh?

Take care

John P.

peterxbrown at 20:34 on 16 September 2003  Report this post
Hi Longjohn, thanks for the comments. Beautifully put and as astute as always. best wishes, peterb.

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