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Vision
Posted: 30 August 2006
Word Count: 17
Summary: Feeling devoid of inspiration, looking out at the rain - it has just started.
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Glancing
sideways, as if
not wanting to be seen
watching,
I imagine
that the rain is silver.
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Comments by other Members
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 James Graham at 22:26 on 30 August 2006
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Joanie, did you write this quickly just before posting it? If so - or even if it took longer - it has turned out well. It springs a surprise. Every line up to the last seems to be about (as I imagined it anyway) someone furtively looking out of the window...nosey, watching the neighbours perhaps - being not very high minded. Then the silver rain changes the tone and the mood.
You mention feeling 'devoid of inspiration'. In a way the poem seems to be a description of how inspiration happens - a thought (often a metaphorical sort of thought, such as 'the rain is silver') seems to appear out of nowhere.
In another way the poem seems to say something about how we look at the world - 'sideways, as if not wanting to be seen' - as if shy or uncertain about it. I'm still pondering that one.
Still another idea the poem sparks off - what we do all the time as poets is look at things and turn them with a wave of a wand into other things. 'The storm whirls dark leaves/ and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky'. 'I imagine/ that the rain is silver' seems to say, 'Look! The poetic thing, the magic metaphor, it happened again.' One of the Scottish poet Norman MacCaig's books is called 'The Extraordinary, as Usual'. Your last line seems to mean something like that too.
Lots of thoughts are sparked off. You do these cameos, these haiku-like pieces, so well. Not a word of this needs to be changed.
James.
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 Tina at 08:28 on 31 August 2006
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Hi Joanie
Hope you had a good break?
As I have said before your writing to me is like small perfect watercolours - as James says not a word needs to be changed.
I like the furtive nature of the watcher and then the surprise of the silver as though the rain is a gift and the surprise of your noticing it in this way is s gift too.
Lovely as ever
thanks
Tina
PS - Just finished rewriting an old rain poem myself!
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 joanie at 13:31 on 31 August 2006
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James and Tina. Thank you very much! Yes, James, I wrote it very quickly and thought about it afterwards very slowly! I was going to add something but fought the temptation; I'm glad you think it's good as it is.
Thanks for your words of encouragement, both of you!
joanie
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NinaLara at 19:59 on 03 September 2006
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I love this too Joanie - especially the silver! It is wonderfully calming and, somehow, the image of you sitting, watching the rain seems very vivid. It has that Haiku like sense of universal wisdom.
It reminded me of being on a fast train recently and watching the rain drops swim horizontally across the indow ... very much silver against the white cloud outside.
Nina
xx
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joanie at 20:05 on 03 September 2006
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Thanks, Nina. Your horizontal rain seems to be the perfect example! Brilliant!
joanie
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