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After Rilke

by apsara 

Posted: 11 August 2006
Word Count: 69
Summary: An exercise in translation without looking anything up in a dictionary - being true to sound and/or meaning as you choose. From an untitled poem by Rilke.


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The city’s pull, the rumble of cars
surround me but, inside the noise,
I remember the sky and the earthy mountains.
Stones in my mouth, but yet
the heart’s work seems possible.
Just to stand up is wonderful.
And always the spirit is there,
never fading, though the shadows of the clouds
pass through her. She is the light
flickering in the lamp’s mantle.
Death finds its way around.






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 13:10 on 11 August 2006  Report this post
Ooh, lovely. Very lovely in fact. Very earthy too - if I can use a word from the poem! I wondered about shaking it out into stanzas to see how it felt and to give it some air - how about:

The city’s pull, the rumble of cars
surround me but, inside the noise,
I remember the sky and the earthy mountains.

Stones in my mouth, but yet
the heart’s work seems possible.
Just to stand up is wonderful.

And always the spirit is there,
never fading, though the shadows of the clouds
pass through her. She is the light
flickering in the lamp’s mantle.

Death finds its way around.


Either way, it's great!

A
xxx



Beanie Baby at 07:28 on 15 August 2006  Report this post
Gorgeous. This really lifted my spirits. I love profound yet simple pieces like this!
Beanie


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