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Creak

by viky7258 

Posted: 02 September 2003
Word Count: 353
Summary: Short piece for the sound exercise. I kinda failed the exercise already though as it's a little over 300 words and was only meant to be 200 - sorry.


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CREAK.
I was laying in bed, half asleep letting the night take me gently into slumber, but now for the sake of one tiny noise outside my bedroom door I am wide awake.
CREAK.
Those floorboards again. But they only make a noise when someone stands on them. I pull my duvet up over my head while I begin to worry whose there. My hearing ability has increased ten fold. I now have super sensitive hearing. I strain to hear any other noise of movement.
CREAK.
I hide deeper under the covers. Someone is outside my door. My imagination goes wild and suddenly my mind is filled with images of men wearing facemasks showing only their eyes as they search through my house. Oh my god burglars. My body freezes.
CREAK. CREAK.
Even more movement. But it's so slight that it scares me. Then I remember my knight in shining armour lying protective in the land of nod next to me. I gently nudge him to wake him up so he may save me.
"What is it?"
"Sssh. There's someone on the landing. Listen." I warn. Sure enough.
CREAK.
"Did you hear that?" My hearing is still super sensitive and all I can hear is how painfully quiet it is other than that damn creaking and my heart almost pounding straight out of my chest.
"Yeah. Get me my snooker cue, it's under the bed."
After I've skillfully manoeuvred behind him, and while wielding half of his snooker cue we ventured into the darkness that was once my top floor landing.
CREAK.
We both jump, my boyfriend yells, I scream, and so too does our pet cat as my boyfriend treads on his poor tail. What a death wail the three of us make. If it hadn't been the cat playing on the landing then I'm sure we would've scared off any would be intruders. After the house is carefully checked, and the cat put out for the night, I get back into our bed, and sigh deeply as I snuggle up next to my brave boyfriend and drift back off to sleep.







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Comments by other Members



Felmagre at 06:48 on 04 September 2003  Report this post
I found this piece of writing enjoyable and a piece I was able to wholly identify with. I suspect creaking floor boards and vivd imagainations are experiences we have all encountered at one time or another. Breaking the writing up with the solitary Creak at the beginning of each paragraph added to the suspence...what was coming next, in much the same way as would be happening when wild imagination takes over in a situation like that being portrayed. The 'hightened sense of hearing and the men with face masks' added to this sense of suspence.

Thank you.

Tarocko1 at 17:15 on 09 September 2003  Report this post
I liked that small story and i have to say that sort of thing happens to me all of the time. But it was a nice bit of writeing and i hope to read more of your work




Ian Browne (Tarocko1)


anisoara at 09:29 on 04 February 2005  Report this post
Suspenseful, but cute at the same time. The snooker cue under the bed is a nice touch!


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