Login   Sign Up 


Poking the Embers

by NinaLara 

Posted: 07 July 2006
Word Count: 106
Summary: Flash 18

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Discontent gnawed under his ribs like heartburn.
It seemed likely she was the worm of the problem.

He hissed sparks at her from his solar plexus
moaning about her quietness at breakfast

In search of fugacious fuel
to heat his momentary truths

he found himself spluttering
about her over-boiling of the kettle

her poor taste in underware
her overcare of household plants

her lack of confidence in the kitchen
slovenly tea cups in the bedroom

her lack of small talk for his mother
and excessive zeal as a lover.

She asked him when he was planning to go.
He asked her to lend him some dough.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

paul53 [for I am he] at 16:47 on 07 July 2006  Report this post
This is really quite exceptional - coming across as a polished piece rather than a Flash.

NinaLara at 18:31 on 07 July 2006  Report this post
Well - seeing as I set the challenge, I feel that I've cheated. It's been going round in my head all week before I sat down to write it!


(also, I couldn't help making a few alterations when I typed it up ... more cheating.

paul53 [for I am he] at 08:09 on 08 July 2006  Report this post
"tweaking" is a much nicer word, and I'm sure we all do that.
When Darren started this group, I set myself a near impossible task of uploading "as is" poems in the vain hope that one would eventually emerge in final draft form. Most often, I "tweak" them later with Owner Edits.

ccatherine at 15:32 on 24 July 2006  Report this post

This is lovely and really quite unique. I like the voice which sounds so matter-of-fact, I think the couplets are extremely effective, in creating the tone. I really great read.

her poor taste in underware

Should that read underwear?

Loved it!


NinaLara at 18:37 on 24 July 2006  Report this post
Yes it should be underwear! (Have never been a good speller).

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .