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Skeleton
Posted: 30 August 2003
Word Count: 30
Summary: A poem about Anorexia...
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neediness, pure despair
confidence, not much there
questions, far too great
loveliness, look of hate
mirror, reflects the bad
sanity, turns quite mad
joking, cascading tears
abandoned, so many years
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Comments by other Members
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 olebut at 08:06 on 31 August 2003
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Lisa
when I started reading this i struggled with the word neediness ( is it in fact a word) and whilst in the scheme of things it does work I am not sure it does as the first word.
I do like the poem though an interesting structure a type of question and answer or statement and response which many would have cluttered up with question marks or a different layout.
I wonder if you swapped the first two lines over
if ' confidence' is a slightly softer lead in and it would not I think change the meaning or real feel of the poem.
also the poem has great emotion
the title also bemused me but i presume you wish to give the image of a person for whom everything has been stripped away, which in the main you do.
thanks for sharing the words I hope writingthem helps
take care
david
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poemsgalore at 12:15 on 31 August 2003
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I think once a word has been said (whether it's real or not) it becomes a word. This is raw, and you feel the suffering. A subject I have used myself for a competition. The restrictions were to use 9 words, 3 words to a line in 3 lines.
"Eyes sunk in,
paper white skin,
why so thin?"
It was an interesting exercise.
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Bobo at 16:34 on 31 August 2003
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Thanks David - I've just checked in my trusty OED and it is a word, though perhaps it is too strong to start the poem with.
The title may be changed to Bones...
Kathleen - I really love your short poem - does it have a title?
I don't suffer from Anorexia any more, but still find it fairly easy to tap into that state-of-mind. I found some of the bits I wrote when I was suffering from it and I may post those on the site a bit later...
Cheers,
Lisa x
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olebut at 16:38 on 31 August 2003
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Lisa
my OED didnt show it you must have a better version than mine £3.99 from the garage
david
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Lisa at 16:47 on 31 August 2003
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Made me go goosebumps.
I work with young performers, many of whom have big self-image issues and suffer from Bulimia and Anorexia. And as my job entails exploring their physical image (I'm a costume designer at a theatre school and work closely with young dancers and actors aged 8-18)I feel what you've written really taps into some of what is going on inside them.
Moving.
Lisa
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poemsgalore at 16:48 on 31 August 2003
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Hi Lisa
So glad you have recovered from that terrible illness, but happy that you can call on your experiences to give pleasure to others through your poetry.
For the competition, I wasn't allowed to give the poems a title but for my own records I just called it Anorexia.
<Added>
Sorry, of course i mean Bobo not Lisa
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Bobo at 17:07 on 31 August 2003
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Thanks guys.
Lisa - I'm sure the whole distorted body image thing has only escalated in the years since I was affected ( it was not far off 20 years ago! ), and I really feel for the young of today. All of my closest female friends have suffered from either Bulimia or Anorexia at some point to some extent and it really pulls at one's heart-strings as they are all the most wonderful people...
Poemsgalore - I think 'Anorexia' is actually a fine title! And you can call me Lisa if you like though I know it gets confusing so maybe BoBo is safer!
Lisa ( BoBo ) x
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Fearless at 22:55 on 31 August 2003
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I won't comment on the structure (I know little about writing, etc), but I would say that the poem taps into, punctures the surface of, what it must be like.
Thanks, Woz
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