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surfing (cinquain)
Posted: 03 July 2006
Word Count: 15
Summary: The cinquain exercise in Poetry Seminar. I have a feeling that this might change! (The 2-4-6-8-2 version)
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Laptop;
oyster - my world.
Internet on my knee
while reality fades away
from truth.
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Comments by other Members
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 Nell at 08:10 on 04 July 2006
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Joan, that was quick! Love the sea connection of the title with the oyster, the reversal of the saying. I spent yesterday almost entirely offline - it gives one a totally different perspective on life, so I can really relate to this.
Nell.
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 NinaLara at 19:06 on 04 July 2006
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Well done Joanie - and so swift. I like the oyster ... the screen has an oyster shimmer to it in addition to being the clever reversal Nell mentioned.
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 Elsie at 09:13 on 05 July 2006
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Joan, so true - exactly how I feel about my laptop! I saw a link between the lap top having a top that opens, like an oyster. (And all your pearls inside it Joan!) It is a vey Haiku like form isn't it.
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 joanie at 17:02 on 05 July 2006
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Nell, Nina, Elsie.... thank you very much! I hadn't thought about the laptop opening like the oyster until I read it later!
Yes, very haiku-like, Elsie.
Thanks!
Joan
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Elsie at 19:10 on 05 July 2006
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I think one of the older Apple Macs - which i have (broken) was known as the clamshell. (Or 'the one that look like a toilet seat..') Maybe it was subliminal advertising from Apple!
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paul53 [for I am he] at 08:16 on 08 July 2006
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So much in so few words. Well done.
I wish I had an oyster on my knee. I've currently got Harry Enfield's "Kevin" perched in a corner of the desk.
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DJC at 06:24 on 16 July 2006
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Nice one, Joanie - short and to the point. I know the feeling of drifting away from reality when on the net. Am trying to spend less time surfing, and more time writing!
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Xenny at 21:50 on 24 July 2006
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Hey Joanie
| I hadn't thought about the laptop opening like the oyster until I read it later! |
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That's so funny - what an excellent connection to have made by accident, as it really works.
It definitely has a real haiku feel to it - saying no more than it needs to but perfectly creating the sense that you intend.
Xenny
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