Login   Sign Up 



 

surfing (cinquain)

by joanie 

Posted: 03 July 2006
Word Count: 15
Summary: The cinquain exercise in Poetry Seminar. I have a feeling that this might change! (The 2-4-6-8-2 version)


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Laptop;
oyster - my world.
Internet on my knee
while reality fades away
from truth.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Nell at 08:10 on 04 July 2006  Report this post
Joan, that was quick! Love the sea connection of the title with the oyster, the reversal of the saying. I spent yesterday almost entirely offline - it gives one a totally different perspective on life, so I can really relate to this.

Nell.

NinaLara at 19:06 on 04 July 2006  Report this post
Well done Joanie - and so swift. I like the oyster ... the screen has an oyster shimmer to it in addition to being the clever reversal Nell mentioned.

Elsie at 09:13 on 05 July 2006  Report this post
Joan, so true - exactly how I feel about my laptop! I saw a link between the lap top having a top that opens, like an oyster. (And all your pearls inside it Joan!) It is a vey Haiku like form isn't it.

joanie at 17:02 on 05 July 2006  Report this post
Nell, Nina, Elsie.... thank you very much! I hadn't thought about the laptop opening like the oyster until I read it later!

Yes, very haiku-like, Elsie.

Thanks!

Joan

Elsie at 19:10 on 05 July 2006  Report this post
I think one of the older Apple Macs - which i have (broken) was known as the clamshell. (Or 'the one that look like a toilet seat..') Maybe it was subliminal advertising from Apple!

paul53 [for I am he] at 08:16 on 08 July 2006  Report this post
So much in so few words. Well done.
I wish I had an oyster on my knee. I've currently got Harry Enfield's "Kevin" perched in a corner of the desk.

joanie at 00:30 on 09 July 2006  Report this post
Thanks, Paul!

joanie

DJC at 06:24 on 16 July 2006  Report this post
Nice one, Joanie - short and to the point. I know the feeling of drifting away from reality when on the net. Am trying to spend less time surfing, and more time writing!

joanie at 18:36 on 16 July 2006  Report this post
Thanks, Darren. I know what you mean!

joanie

Xenny at 21:50 on 24 July 2006  Report this post
Hey Joanie

I hadn't thought about the laptop opening like the oyster until I read it later!


That's so funny - what an excellent connection to have made by accident, as it really works.

It definitely has a real haiku feel to it - saying no more than it needs to but perfectly creating the sense that you intend.

Xenny



joanie at 22:40 on 24 July 2006  Report this post
Thanks for reading, Xenny! Good to see you.

joanie


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .