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Exam Time

by NinaLara 

Posted: 29 June 2006
Word Count: 144
Summary: response to flash 17


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After prayers
we duck from
the puddles of girls
revising in the sun
and pay our furtive visit
to the old pavilion.

The moon refuses
to go to bed today,
floating like a bride
who’s brought the whole sky
to her wedding for luck.
I giggle, bare legs tickled by

the grass – she sings
Frankly Mr Shankly like a lullaby
as we skirt the hockey field.
I push her through the broken window
and smile with the daisies
until the chain flushes.

I pull her out. We wait,
read the instructions
till we are sure it’s positive.
She says a few words slowly
about who can not be told.
The grass heads nod.

We agree which girls
are most likely to be discreet
and know the right phone numbers.
My face as flat as
a Matron of Honour’s,
I stroke her rigid knee.








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Comments by other Members



DJC at 07:11 on 30 June 2006  Report this post
Nina - this is great. Well paced and almost clinical in its delivery of what is a very emotive subject. This bit:

She says a few words slowly
about who can not be told.
The grass heads nod.


is just inspired - I love it when a poet takes you away from the action, and comments on something seemingly inconsequential, yet loaded with meaning.

And a Smiths title in there as well! It really places you in that mid eighties period. Takes me back to my school days. I once knew every lyric from every Smiths song ever written, including the live variations. Sad I know...

D.

NinaLara at 07:34 on 30 June 2006  Report this post
Thanks Darren -

I think Frankly Mr Shankly was my way of working in the rhyme of grass with arse ..... it seems almost rude to ignore it. I'm sure the Smiths are responsible for a whole generation of would be poets.

Nina

Elsie at 13:36 on 30 June 2006  Report this post
Nina, this is wonderful, I had no idea where it was leading.

My face as flat as
a Matron of Honour’s,
I stroke her rigid knee.
Is great, and seems to hint at the possibility of having to get married.

While

We agree which girls
are most likely to be discreet
and know the right phone numbers.


is her other option.

paul53 [for I am he] at 06:18 on 02 July 2006  Report this post
For a flash this is quite exceptional. I did not so much feel i had read a poem as observed a rich and poignant drama.

Beanie Baby at 07:30 on 03 July 2006  Report this post
This is brilliant. I love the way you move from line to line with such ease and I think you have used the RLG well. It has certainly attracted a lot of attention and reads equally as well aloud as to silently.
Beanie


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