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Love Lies (Expresso)

by Jubbly 

Posted: 21 June 2006
Word Count: 184
Summary: Just an idea for the Starbucks theme.

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Love Lies

Two girls are working behind the counter in Starbucks. One is plump and plain the other is extraordinarily beautiful. Her name is Martina, she cleans the coffee machine, lost in her own world. The other girl, Carly, nudges her.

See your admirer’s still here.

CARLY gestures to a scruffy looking man sat at one of the tables. He is drawing, on the table are half a dozen finished sketches, they are all well executed likenesses of MARTINA. MARTINA shrugs, embarrassed.

He’s weird, don’t you think?

Yep, deffo.

CARLY continues serving, MARTINA looks at the man, he looks up at her, their eyes lock and he seems phased and quickly looks down at his sketch. Blood trickles down his face as his nose bleeds, he tries to mop it up but droplets of blood land on the sketch. The sound of a cup smashing and scream alerts him to reality. MARTINA has cut her hand and wiped the blood over her face. The man quickly exits the café, leaving his drawing behind. MARTINA’S sketched face is now covered in blood.

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Comments by other Members

Lianne at 09:18 on 22 June 2006  Report this post
Hi Julie,

I liked the slightly creepy and unsettling feel of this. The ending is unexpected and the imagery is really strong. One possible problem though - the expresso guidelines I think specify that the stories take place at one table (presumably the idea being to chart the various different things that happen at the same table throughout one day). Perhaps you could re-work it a bit so it is from the man's point of view? At the moment the focus begins behind the counter, and the man at the table is in the background till the end. Not sure how pedantic the organisers of this will be though as it is a tough brief to match.

All the best with it ;-)


Account Closed at 13:43 on 22 June 2006  Report this post
Oh yes, creepy is the word! If you wanted to focus on the table, you could cut the second waitress and just have Martina serving the guy, but he could hide his sketches until the end for more impact. (just an idea)


Jubbly at 14:24 on 22 June 2006  Report this post
Thanks Lianne and Els, I'll have a think, thing is it's self service in Starsy, but maybe she could be cleaning up. Anyone know if we can multi submit on this one?

syorkslad26 at 15:29 on 22 June 2006  Report this post
Multi submit? I did send an e-mail asking how many scripts you can enter. Is this what you mean? Because I was told;

Hi Tony

No, there's no limit. We have received over 100 so far so I think quality rather than quantity is the key.


Hope this helps.


Lianne at 16:10 on 22 June 2006  Report this post
Interesting how many they've recieved so far as it hasn;t been advertised on the usual places like shooting people.

Julie, if you order something in Strbucks that needs to be heated up, they bring it over to you, so if you are going for authenticity... I still don't know in what way Starbucks are involved with this. Not sure if they are actually sponsoring or something. I worried that my evil barista may not be the image they are looking to promote!


Jubbly at 07:49 on 23 June 2006  Report this post
I will multi task then, whoops, submit. Ta Kevin. I know what you mean Lianne, every idea I come up with paints them in a bad light. I'm going to re set mine in one of those front tables and have him draw a girl seated next to him. I went on a long bus journey through London last night, (is there any other kind ?) and peered into Starbuckys windows on the way, very interesting. They did promote short plays last year at the Old Vic, so I think they just want to get creative. What say we bombard them with WW entries, what the hell eh?


syorkslad26 at 08:37 on 23 June 2006  Report this post

Sounds like a good idea to me that Julie!


Lianne at 10:15 on 23 June 2006  Report this post
Sounds like a plan alright!

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