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by Katy Kat 

Posted: 19 June 2006
Word Count: 103
Summary: and the words which carry most knives are those blind phrases searching to be kind... Spender

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I play with sleep
but words are pools
of venom and of spite
that lay upon my heart
and scream into the night
as watch I keep.

I strive to think
but words are pools
of blood, bitter and black
that seep into my mind
and push me ever back
towards the brink.

I try to pray
but words are pools
of dirty acid rain
that eat into my soul
intensify the pain
obscure the way.

Let me go free
let words like pools
of tears become a flood
to wash away your spite,
your venom, rain and blood
then let me be.

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Comments by other Members

NinaLara at 10:51 on 20 June 2006  Report this post
I like this ... here is that contradiction of healing words and harmful words. Also, there is the idea that words sit in pools inside and eat away at you. How is it possible for them to drain away. Great response - well done! I'll have a go today.


paul53 [for I am he] at 08:27 on 21 June 2006  Report this post
A very good piece. The best part is the use of rhyme here. It enhances and strengthens the piece without once feeling forced.

Katy Kat at 08:46 on 21 June 2006  Report this post
Hi Nina

Thanks for reading and comments. Look forward to reading yours soon.


Katy Kat at 08:48 on 21 June 2006  Report this post
Thanks Paul

Comments appreciated


Beanie Baby at 15:05 on 21 June 2006  Report this post
I really reallylike this. It has a passion and depth to it that touches my emotions and it is brilliantly written.

Katy Kat at 18:47 on 22 June 2006  Report this post
Thanks for that Beanie



DJC at 21:25 on 24 June 2006  Report this post

There's a certain urgency in these words, that made me want to reread the poem a few times. You communicate a sense of pain and anger here, both in the words themselves and the driving rhythm. I also think that the repetition works really well.

One thing I would watch for, and that's those archaisms which creep in unbidden sometimes, particularly when it comes to syntax. 'as watch I keep' is a good example. It jars a bit with the rest of the poem, as it sounds a little too much in the style of the Romantics. Other than that it's an excellent flash.


Katy Kat at 09:03 on 25 June 2006  Report this post
Hi Darren
Thanks for reading and comments. I know what you are saying about archaisms. A throw back to my ancient past I fear but will be aware of them now I hope. Just keep reminding me.

Glad you liked it

Best Kate

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