Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » Jibunnessa » Work
Archive »  Poetry » General » Work

Hammer and the harp

by Jibunnessa 

Posted: 10 June 2006
Word Count: 36
Summary: This was going to be a much longer poem originally. Not entirely sure it's finished. It might grow later. Let me know what you think.
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


When
the hammer
turns into
the harp,

And the
silent finger
is cut
forever,

You levitate
dry-mouthed,

An island
of
pictures
etched
in air.


---Jib, 8.26am, Sat 10 Jun 2006. In bed, at home, in London






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



joanie at 10:01 on 10 June 2006  Report this post
Wow, Jib, I was going to say "I'm glad this isn't any longer", but that sounded awful! I mean that I love the brevity and the feel of this and the tantalising mystery. I like the post script (Is that the right phrase for your line at the end?) because I can visualise it much better.

I keep re-reading this; I get a lovely feeling that I have grasped its meaning then it slips away again.

I love the last stanza, especially the spacing, and the way it hangs in the air, just as it says. It's excellent to say aloud; I really like it.

joanie
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Jibunnessa at 11:42 on 11 June 2006  Report this post
Hi Joanie

Really glad you liked it so much.

When I'm writing poetry, I often hear it in my head read out aloud. So, your comments about it being excellent to say aloud is much appreciated.

I also like it when you say
"I get a lovely feeling that I have grasped its meaning then it slips away again."
 It makes me think of Himalayan foothills in summer. When you look across at the valley down below and the mountains and hills in the distance, you only see them in fragments through a veil of mischievous dancing clouds.

Thanks again.

Jib
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by Jibunnessa:      ...view all work by Jibunnessa