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The sex just wasn`t that good

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 08 June 2006
Word Count: 147
Summary: too good to be true
Related Works: Bazzin • 

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The sex just wasn't that good


your hair was the colour of seventy nine protons
your eyes were filled with the blood of a green lion,

your heart began to smoke and leap like a forest fire
and I choked as your red feathers rose from my ashes,

the pink earth shook,the curve of our backs
bowing on the dark, the skins of stars beat
black and clapping on the soft cotton night,

and we rang like a bell a hot cast
of tender plays pawing at ourselves
tripple tonguing two long deep notes,

your words sucking my breath, my purple sherbet fizzing hard
your fingers hacking at the laces of my Doctor Martin boots,

your ripping smile splitting me wide open to your lies
and when you spoke I believed everything you ever said,

except 'I love you', the sex just wasn't that good.


John G.Hall






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 11:34 on 16 June 2006  Report this post
Love the build-up in this. Very wild and angry, with that wonderfully dry (sorry!) pay-off line. I think though you should have a dash or colon or something stronger than a comma after "I love you" and then put the sex line on a line of its own. I think that would be even punchier?

:))

A
xxx


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