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Pigeon
Posted: 01 June 2006
Word Count: 12
Summary: Haiku - there should be indents, with each second line dropping from the end of the first.
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shrunk punk,
'lotmented
out lyre,
twinging chicken wire
dung goated,
up raw.
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 James Graham at 17:36 on 02 June 2006
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Hi Nina - I've been staring at this poem for ages, but as soon as I think I'm beginning to see a way into it, meaning slips away again. I do sense that each word is a considered choice, and that you're pushing language as far as you can. At some point I got a notion that some lines are like Joyce's variations on words in 'Finnegans Wake', e.g. up raw/uproar, out lyre/outlier. 'Dung goated' always seems just about to reveal the phrase behind it, but I haven't managed to hit on what it is yet. "'lotmented" I can't make out at all - 'lotment short for 'allotment'? It's intriguing, but I'm still in the dark I'm afraid.
James.
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 NinaLara at 19:48 on 02 June 2006
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Hi James -
I am playing with language in exactly the way you suggest and I want a picture to emerge from that. 'lotmented is allotmented and wasn't meant to be obscure at all! Dung goated ... dung coated, goat dung ... whatever you want really. The pigeon is a dirty shrunk punk, living out in the raw twinging chicken wire.
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 joanie at 20:05 on 02 June 2006
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Hi Nina; I guess I'm a coward! I have come back to look at this again and again and have not commented. I have to say that my initial reaction was something like, "Ugh! dirty, horrible pigeons!" The language seemed to convey that really well.
I should have said that earlier!
joanie
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