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My Bloody Valentine

by hailfabio 

Posted: 23 May 2006
Word Count: 45

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She touched my space.
Everytime everytime.
Left the leaves lying,
that she'd blown off.
Everywhere everywhere.
Innocently scared soul,
scrambled in essence,
by ghostly fragrance.
Evermore evermore.
Burning scalded skin,
sizzles with desire,
frozen without direction,
a will in tatters, it hides.
Evenmore, even more.

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Comments by other Members

Mr B. at 20:32 on 29 May 2006  Report this post
A powerful piece.

On the last line, did you intend the first evenmore to be joined?

Why have you chosen the title My bloody valentine?

I loved the way alliteration gives a 's' sound throughout the whole poem - was this deliberate?

Nice one!


hailfabio at 09:55 on 30 May 2006  Report this post

Yes the evenmore is deliberate.

The 'S' feeling wasn't though, it just came out in writing.

My Bloody Valentine - it's about a valentine that emotionally beats you up.


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