We. by Bobo - WriteWords.org.uk

WriteWords

We.

by Bobo

Posted: 27 August 2003
Word Count: 117
Summary: Any feedback appreciated guys.

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Where do I fit into your life?
Is there a place there for someone like me?
Can we be close, though worlds wide apart?
What is the essence of ‘we’?

Does my presence bring you discomfort -
The proverbial itch you’re unable to tend?
What is the path our story will take?
And how will that story end?

I don’t want to be a negative force -
I can’t bear the thought of causing more pain.
I need to bring light into your darkness,
Sunshine to tumultuous rain.

Where do I fit into your life?
Is there a place for someone like me?
Can we be close, though worlds wide apart?
What is the essence of ‘we’?

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Fearless at 20:38 on 27 August 2003 Report this post

You have captured that stomach cramp, that accelerated heart beat, the flickering inner burning flame that drives us this way.
Shame we never (rarely?) get an answer.

Good work Bobo.

Fearless

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Bobo at 08:05 on 28 August 2003 Report this post

Exactly Woz...yet strive for an answer we must, or life loses so much.

Lisa x

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olebut at 09:27 on 30 August 2003 Report this post

Where do I fit into your life?
Is there a place for someone like me?
Can we be close, though worlds wide apart?
What is the essence of ‘we’?

Does my presence bring you discomfort -
The proverbial itch you’re unable to tend?
What is the path our story will take?
And how will that story end?

I don’t want to be a negative force -
I can’t bear the thought of causing more pain.
I need to bring light into your darkness,
Sunshine to tumultuous rain.

Where do I fit into your life?
Is there a place for someone like me?
Can we be close, though worlds wide apart?
What is the essence of ‘we’?

lisa

again thought provoking and almost imtimate

perhaps if you took out the word 'there' in line 2 it isn't needed and I think spoils the rhythm

take care david

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Bobo at 23:04 on 30 August 2003 Report this post

Thanks so much David -

This is about a guy I got to know really well when I wasw running a bar in North London last year. This is also the same guy I tried to do a character study of in 'Charlie' ( which needs a lot of work! ). When someone or something is so inspirational the writing really does almost take care of itself!

Lisa x

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