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The Madness of the X

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 22 May 2006
Word Count: 153
Summary: yesterday all my....
Related Works: And still I cannot wake from their war (part 1) • 

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The Madness of the X

you were the butterfly bomber from Hiroshima
you were the Unicorn strangler from Alabama

you were the poison pen letter returned to sender
you were the prestine vandel in the Sistine Chapel

you were the Nazi balls in Captain America's lycra shorts
you were the axe that spoiled Catherine of Arragons hat

you got the Pope to admit that Jesus was a big gay Lord
you got Buddha to lose his sweet temper during nirvana
you got Bush to give Bin Ladin two towering blow jobs

hey and once you painted me naked in red charcoal
and when we broke up you posted me my own cock

and once you insisted on my hand in bloody marriage
while carrying your dead fathers gardening hatchett

that was 20 odd years ago and thanks to you I will
always be looking back for the flash of your steel.


John G.Hall(c)2006






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 09:09 on 26 May 2006  Report this post
Great rhythm and I loved the dramatic build-up. I'm tempted to add a line space before the last two lines, to give more tension. That said, I wasn't sure I entirely knew what was meant by that last line, and I do also think it might need to be punchier? Maybe even rhymed with the penultimate line (almost as a stand-alone couplet??)?

Ooh, and I'd put "twenty" not "20".

Thought-provoking piece!

A
xxx

John G.Hall at 22:34 on 29 May 2006  Report this post
Thanks, see changed poem.

JGHxx

Account Closed at 09:52 on 02 June 2006  Report this post
Ooh, yes, that really works for me!

A
xxx


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