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Grandmother

by apsara 

Posted: 21 May 2006
Word Count: 59
Summary: OK, I cheated & changed the line a bit.....


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She wore her wisdom lightly,
a gossamer shawl that turned
the light of sun and moon
to gold and silver.
Her words as rare and precious
as the whale's ambergris.
Her breath the essence of the whispered secrets
she carried to her grave.
And when she looked at you
a searchlight probed the cracks
and crevices of your heart.






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Comments by other Members



DJC at 09:23 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
Tracey - this is lovely, so I think we can let you off your slight alteration! After all, this is all about taking ideas and running with them, not always sticking slavishly with things. I think the opening lines are particularly powerful. Beautifully written throughout.

D.

Katy Kat at 12:30 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
Tracey

This is so beautiful-in the words of J Lennon - 'more I cannot say'.

a gossamer shawl that turned
the light of sun and moon
to gold and silver.


Kate

ccatherine at 12:33 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
How I would love to write like this. The image is so beautiful.

Not got time to comment further.

Cathy

joanie at 13:13 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
apsara. This is absolutely fantastic. The words, ideas and images are just excellent.

And when she looked at you
a searchlight probed the cracks
and crevices of your heart.
is beautifully observed. Whatever one's age, grandmothers can do just this!

joanie

Account Closed at 17:29 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
Yes, an extremely beautiful work. Cherishable.

JB

Katy Kat at 19:42 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
Cherishable. What a lovely word.

Kat

DJC at 05:50 on 22 May 2006  Report this post
Mmm, sounds nice, doesn't it. There aren't enough sentences with the word
'cherishable' in, are there. We should do something about that.

paul53 [for I am he] at 07:24 on 22 May 2006  Report this post
Excellent.

Beanie Baby at 12:21 on 24 May 2006  Report this post
Beautiful - and a worthy winner.
Beanie


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