The greatest job of all?

Oh my god I’m going to smash this casserole dish over his head if I don’t get out of here soon. My god this is what my dream has come to, I think as I grip the side of the worksurface so hard my fingers feel like their going to drop off.

My stupid husband’s words replay themselves over and over in my head: “Maybe if you had a job Jane, you’d understand how tiring it is.”

What a stupid, stupid man. I stare at him now wondering what on earth possessed me to marry him, in fact why did I even bother with him at all. Yes I’m being irrational, yes I’m being neurotic, but I think you’ll probably agree, I’ve been pushed to the edge. I’m hanging on by one hand and I can feel my fingers lose their grip one by one.

My mothers words ring in my ears – “You have to work at a marriage, you have to work at being a parent, you have to work to give yourself a good life.”

Why does everything have to be so much bloody work. When I was younger I imagined myself with two beautiful children like Jane and Michael Banks from Mary Poppins and a husband not so much like Mr Banks and more like Mr George Clooney. We’d go away for weekends, I’d organise a picnic for the way. We’d sing along to the carpenters and play eye spy all the way – George would smile and me and squeeze my knee, so thankful that we’d created two beautiful children and that our lives are complete.

Let me get you up to date on what has actually happened. I was a spring bride, I married Mark (not George unfortunately) and after a few happy years I was expecting our first child Emma. Not one to take things in half measures I jumped right in and handed in my notice to be a full time mum. I thought about how rewarding it would be, choosing little outfits for her to wear, showing her off at coffee mornings, teaching her how to say please and thank you. We would be insepreable me and Emma. She’s cry if I ever left (which of course I never would), she’d say that when she was older she’d wanted to be just like her mum. Of course in my new job as stay at home mum, I was going to become a fantastic cook, my husbands tea would always be on the table. My house would be spotless, oh and early mornings would be no problem to me. Now I have to admit this would going to be a big change for me – I was a stay out late partying, ready meals and quick polish once a week kind of girl, but I just knew I’d change naturally once I was a mother.

BC (before children) I worked as a PR girl for an events company. It was a job that seemed quite glamourous but was a lot of hard work. I did however get to visit lots of nice place (Milan is really nice this time of year you know) which was great then, but not really once you have a family.