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Reality TV -- Version Three (one stanza change)

by seanfarragher 

Posted: 28 March 2006
Word Count: 735
Summary: TV/Radio Exercise by Nell .
Related Works: Birthday Poem 1-8-2006 Revised THIRD TIME • Books from the Bible • 

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VERSION TWO
Reality TV
Sean Farragher

"I was supposed to fly a plane into the White House."
ZACARIAS MOUSSAOUI, testifying at his sentencing
in the 9/11 attacks.


The lies are told over and over until the eyes cloud;
Many die not from the violence but the fear of it.

Terrorism rides its own pale horse. Written in code
laws of barricades are new bibles, manifestos of
revelation and terrorist ride with exact images
of doom-- both lies and truth, caught in public notice,
to burn the nail to the quick when light stops.

2.
In New Orleans reality TV faked
an artificial maze as if it were
bad sand with no crude oil.
Now, sewage murders the poor
created with slave ships,
Jim Crow and other instruments
of torture locked in an unlocked
fetish box coated with aluminum foil,
gold leaf and indelible chipped red paint

"I don't think anybody cares, really. New Orleans
is kind of like at the bottom of the country,
and they just forget about us. “ROBERT RODRIGUE,
of Metairie, La. (from the New York Times 22/03/06)


I begin with a scream about Bleak House and Dickens’
characters shifted fortunes and marriages and deaths --
disease traveled by air or in looms of a kiss.

The TV's glare strikes novels for future ceasefire
Kennedy's resonated commentary applied to all Cubans.

During our civil war when cotton mills screamed
for the south to win markets of the Bard's Eden.
the innocent suffered for faulty estimates of value.

If I mix Dickens and Kennedy and exaggerated
as any opera soap opera penny paper might for
"experimental history", I claim atomic clouds
of stats, a priori, the square root
of minus one equaled to laws by Pythagoras.

Are victorian secret sex societies and New York
Children's brothels turned on their ear as fact
of universal hypocrisy; Are we cousins removed?

I have lived in the actual world of Lt Col. Anthony
Marshall, born 1792 Standground Hampshire, England.
My triple great grandfather fathered my double
grandfather in Dublin in 1838. Anthony’s fifth son,
Chapman Marshall and his sixth, George,
sailed by ship and train to Iowa in 1859
from Plymouth Street and Buckland Terrace 8 Devonshire.

Why do I treasure the sterling silver fork,
complete family crest, my bequest from Chapman’s
English wife brought to Cresco, Iowa,
before the Civil War ground best
and worst into infected wounds?

Chapman Marshall, an Iowa State Senator
and Stump Congregational Preacher were known
for his magical oaths that healed with hands.

They say Rev. Marshall had the gift of words.
I thought he had been made up an act of hubris
by kin conjured as grandiosity until I read
his 1906 OBIT in the Cresco newspaper.

I am certain there is some cousin in Devonshire
who shares our particular brands of DNA
that Chapman and wife brought to Family Tree TV
for reality snapshots, genealogical time machines.

We presume to have many scientific sacraments
born of reality TV: Can a poem mock itself?


3.
“Chapter 1 BLEAK HOUSE — ... Implacable November weather.
As much mud in the streets as if the waters had but newly
retired from the face of the earth, and it would not be
wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so,
waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill.”

Rain is a viral persistent sore in the belly when it
flings debris at 140 miles per hour breaking mirrors.

Watch the sky. Lungs die. Drown!
The water is a river flood underneath
the basement to the back stairway.

Mother cannot breathe. She dies in a wheelchair.
Uncle Rose walked to the Stadium. No water there
Ripe air sweat clogged on the edges of despair.

Dickens drew another cartoon.
Men, women plot the scheme.
Poverty has no excuse

Many plots, subplots, first lines
and narrow ends shroud BLEAK house
with a fog deep in New Orleans
to break levees and flood the plain.
Some lovers unite. Children die.
Fortunes change.
How can I measure fate, tragedy?
Does no one care? Dickens did.


4.
Where does history end?
Will ice caps melt, seasons change.
What is wet becomes dry, and dry
becomes ocean, mountain, and change
that perpetual magic wand
beats time on my head.

Earth is manna. Now,
ground into monuments
TV's speak ends time.

Is Reality a sucker’s game?
Are rules fixed to make ratings
an accurate barometer of doom.




END









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Comments by other Members



Mac AM at 05:43 on 29 March 2006  Report this post
Hello Sean,

Good to see your response to the exercise. I take it your TV program was news footage of the trial of the third suicide bomber.

Your response is to write from your own frame of reference, in a similar I did the same thing with my poem – but I was looking forward to having some detail about the program. It seemed to be more of a catalyst. I must admit that I found the length daunting. I’m not perturbed by long narratives, but there is a cyclic sense, of the poem turning back on itself. There were instances where I felt you were saying the same thing over. It sould be good to see a worked and edited version of this piece.

Sean, I’m not at all doubting the sincerity of your writing, but I am always profoundly suspicious of poems that use ‘we’ and therefore suffer a tone issue. ‘We’ includes the reader, tells him/her what to think or feel. Have you thought of changing the voice or perspective? I have seen this anger and frustration in other work, and I would rather like to see a different voice, a different perspective from Sean.

When I have a row with my husband, I find myself dredging up that thing he did fifteen years ago that really p*ssed me off. I see something similar in your work, that once you have begun a piece it is easy for you to stray onto the other subjects that matter to you. And I do take your point, sometimes they are related. I guess my response would have to be – in every poem? I am quite concerned that my poems are beginning to sound and look the same, blend into each other, so perhaps I am being oversensitive to this in the work of others too.

Could the poem be more compelling if you wrote in a voice not your own, from a perspective of someone else?

It would be very interesting to see.

Mac

paul53 [for I am he] at 09:07 on 29 March 2006  Report this post
I won't quite call it a satori, but I did have a moment of insight here, like standing watching someone working a large weaving loom: that only by understanding the various threads could I begin to understand the pattern - see it emerging row by row.
This has to be one of your more accessible pieces.

Nell at 09:09 on 29 March 2006  Report this post
Hi Sean,

I do find long poems daunting. Your writing is dense with imagery and language, often overwhelming in subject matter and sometimes seems to contain material for three or four poems rather than one. Although it can repay the time taken to understand/penetrate, it's time that I don't always have.

I think Mac has made some good and insightful points above. They reminded me of a programme about art that revolved around the premise that we don't paint what we see, but see what we paint. As far as I can remember, it followed artists of different nationalities painting the same or similar scenes, and it was revealing to observe how a painter of traditional Chinese landscapes depicted the English countryside. I guess that poetry follows art in this respect, and that what we see in a poem is the poet's personal vision or song.

Reading your poems it seems to me (forgive me if I'm wrong, and I've no wish to offend) that what we're seeing is not so much your vision as yourself (even in part 1 above), your huge personality, the sum of you spread out on the page, a portrait of the artist in every poem. It would be good to see something smaller, less overwhelming, a poem that is leading readers to draw their own conclusions rather than making statements.

Nell.



seanfarragher at 09:36 on 29 March 2006  Report this post
Many thanks Nell, Mack and Paul.

I thank you for your read and response to the poem. I am revised it, but first I wish to make a brief explanation not to defend an evolving poem, but to respond.

Part of the problem with this exercise for me may be our different cultures. (I assume the trial is not as prominent in the news in the UK -- not that it should be)

In the USA, the Moussaoui trial is page 1 column 1 in media and print. I imagine New Orleans is old news there. Here, of late, six months late, it is a regular feature.

I generally do not watch entertainment TV or the new reality TV programs but I have sampled them. I do watch Masterpiece Theater (productions from your BBC and many English comedies, which I find delightful.

For many years, I did not write political poetry. Unfortunately, since 9/11 that point of view as changed. Many American Presidents have been scoundrels. Others have been thieves and liars; still more have been stupid and unable to lead. W. Bush appears to be all three. The tragedy of New Orleans may have been the greatest natural preventable disaster in its history.

I am not sure you can talk about the details of any of the TV programs, as there have been many.

I do agree, however, the poem, a first draft, suffers from the "we" complex and I am thankful for Mac to point it out.

I often write from another perspective (but that tends to be in fiction not poetry.

(I) or "confessional poetry" is a dominant voice in many of my poems. Fascinated by art and history, I generally use allusion as one means to bring to the work a larger context by layering the imagery.

I will upload the revised version. My first draft, excessively packed with several ideas for poems, will be revised. In my revision, I am fixing that issue. I edit by deletion, and here I trust the critics.

Again, thanks.


Xenny at 10:24 on 29 March 2006  Report this post
Hey Sean,

I'm a bit intimidated by the length at the moment! Just waiting for the right time...

seanfarragher at 21:38 on 29 March 2006  Report this post
Xenny, I deleted the old version. There was no reason to include the old version. Including it made it too forminable (in time) read.

Xenny at 14:17 on 02 April 2006  Report this post
Hey again

I've read this a couple of times. As I've said before, I'm not really comfortable with analysis (I know comments don't have to be analysis, but some poems make it hard to comment without it creeping in), and I'm also not comfortable with (what I guess you'd call) politics (though I mean more than that), and especially <i>especially</i> not with analysing something of a 'political' nature written by someone who is so close to the subject of the poem, when I'm so far away.

I'm not making excuses. I'm just explaining why my comments might seem a bit empty and short.

(I) or "confessional poetry" is a dominant voice in many of my poems. Fascinated by art and history, I generally use allusion as one means to bring to the work a larger context by layering the imagery.


I do like this about your poems. For me it makes them more intriguing, and even when the meaning evades me, somehow more accessible. I don't think it's essential that the 'I' is as obvious as it is in yours (not that there's anything wrong with that), but when someone writes without even a hint of it, I think, 'why are you writing this? What's your motivation?' And it can seem dry. Sometimes the 'I' isn't obvious at all, but it's there somewhere and perhaps it's that coming through that gives passion to a poem. But I do like the directness of it in yours.

As always, the imagery in your writing is really strong. And I like the way you let things overlap and interweave without seeming to try and tame them into something neat and straightforward. Like Nell though, I'd love to read something smaller and perhaps a little more direct/focused. Not because it would be better, but it would be interesting to see. And I like to be able to retain the beginning of a poem by the time I get to the end. But that's just me and not a criticism!

Is the wording in this line right? :

sewage would replaced gas and murdered the poor


Thanks. I'm looking forward to more.

Xenny

seanfarragher at 15:32 on 02 April 2006  Report this post
Xenny, thanks for your close read. That line you cited is wrong. I missed it. In the beginning, and development of a poem, it is important to have other poets read it. I wonder if the two parts of this poem can be separated. I am really not sure. I know the second part can stand on its own, but not the second, and both or three poem from this one could sit near each other in a section of a poetry book. I just bought Quark Express, as I plan to design my own books as I did when I work as creative director of an ad agency.
Ebooks, tangential to this poem, are coming on.

I have to look at that line and think about it.

"sewage would replaced gas and murdered the poor" (this is wrong on my part)

could become

"sewage would replaced gas to murder the poor"

that was one of those additional lines added in a rewrite that i missed cleaning up.



<Added>

An example of trying to do too much
gas an allusion to the Nazi's, but
that is so far removed. Syntax was
wrong and so I deleted the gas
when I went to make the change


"In New Orleans reality TV faked
an artificial maze as if it were
bad sand with no crude oil.
Now, sewage murder the poor
created with slave ships,
Jim Crow and other instruments
of torture locked in an unlocked
fetish box coated with aluminum foil,
gold leaf and chipped red paint."


stanza rewritten


Thanks so much for your help,
Sean

<Added>

I meant murders not murder. Change made in poem.
Here is how it should read.


"In New Orleans reality TV faked
an artificial maze as if it were
bad sand with no crude oil.
Now, sewage murder the poor
created with slave ships,
Jim Crow and other instruments
of torture locked in an unlocked
fetish box coated with aluminum foil,
gold leaf and chipped red paint."


<Added>

Three strikes and I am out.
let me get it right -- LOL


"In New Orleans reality TV faked
an artificial maze as if it were
bad sand with no crude oil.
Now, sewage murders the poor
created with slave ships,
Jim Crow and other instruments
of torture locked in an unlocked
fetish box coated with aluminum foil,
gold leaf and indelible chipped red paint."


Xenny at 22:57 on 02 April 2006  Report this post
Three strikes and I am out.
let me get it right -- LOL


! funny

Oh, yes, that reads very well now I think. And perhaps it's better without the gas. I think if you give the reader too many threads - even if they make much sense and are fairly obvious connections - you run some risk of losing them, or getting them tangled in their own (my!) mind.

And I do feel when reading your poems that when you make these connections in your head, you often don't give yourself the option of letting them wait for a later poem. Or perhaps letting them drop entirely. Like you try to say <i>so</i> much. That's not quite <i>quite</i> what I mean, but something along those lines. Anyway, I'm not really saying it's a bad thing - I think of it as part of your style.

I just bought Quark Express, as I plan to design my own books as I did when I work as creative director of an ad agency.


Oh, that's really good :)



<Added>

by 'them' i meant the readers

Xenny at 22:58 on 02 April 2006  Report this post
Oops. sorry. I forgot it's [ ] on here.


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