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****** i swear ******

by donnadiva 

Posted: 18 March 2006
Word Count: 312
Summary: written for my sister-through her eyes, as i do not have any personal experience of the subject, i can nly imagine her thoughts.

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**** i swear****

i swear to god - tomorrow i,ll quit,
from the doctor, i,ll get my script,
on DF,s and VALIUM i,ll be fine,
they,ll help me beat this addiction of mine.

just leave me alone,
until tomorrow,
i,ll cause the family no more sorow,
i swear i,ll knock on the head,
otherwise - i,ll end up dead.

then my mind starts playing tricks,
all i need,s just one more fix.
tommorow - it will be here soon,
i,ll throw away the needle and spoon.

but right now is all that matters,
my boby and mind are in tatter,s,
this fix will be my very last,
when tommorow comes,
it will be the past,

i,ll dance wih the devil, one more time,
then come tommorow, i,ll be fine,

no one know,s the pain im in,
i need to let the brown begin,
up my vien, and to my head,
im lying on my pleasure bed.

im on my way to my amazing place,
the colour draining from my face,
just as i am nearly there,
my world- it turns into despair,

i,m on a landslide, straight back down,
i shut my eyes, i hit the ground,
i open them up-
what do i see***
real life - reality-
staring at me.

i never can reach my fantasy land,
my journey never goes as planned,
i,ll have to get sorted to travel once more,
but first i,ll have to go and score,
i have,nt got the energy-
but satan,s voice is torturing me,
he tell,s me that i have no choice,
oh how i hate his evil voice.

i know that in an hour or so,
i,ll be back on my journey,
raring to go,
back to the needle, spoon and brown,
my fantastic journey,s worth the come -down!

i swear tomorrow-
i,ll be fine,
when i get this script of mine.

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Comments by other Members

donnadiva at 14:36 on 18 March 2006  Report this post
our mum wrote this because our auntie (our mum,s sister) has been caught up in a heroin addiction wich has devastated us all.we listen to our aunt every week telling us she will be fine when the doctor gives her a script of tablets to get her off the stuff-but as you can tell by reading our mum,s work-tommorow never happens.we all care for our aunt so much, and want her to beat this addiction with our help.

Richard Brown at 13:56 on 20 March 2006  Report this post

The poem suggests that you have had lots of conversations with your sister - the language rings true. It also expresses the desperation which you and your daughters feel about the plight of your sister and the agony of watching someone on the path of self destruction. The dreadful thing, as I'm sure you know, is that generally people start the escape from addiction only when they reach some crisis which creates a determination to change. I hope that one day in the not too distant future you'll be able to write a poem about your sister's journey to recovery.


donnadiva at 21:32 on 20 March 2006  Report this post

thank you richard for taking time to read my work and send me your opinion, i have never shared any of my work with other than my family before, and it,s really nice to know someone whom you have never met has taken the time and interest to read it and send an opinion-thanks again, its a wee confidence booster for me.

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