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I Love You Silly!

by mbrownlow 

Posted: 13 March 2006
Word Count: 145
Summary: A nonsense-type rhyme that instills simple virtues for children.


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Schmootzle spiral,
Spudlet spree,
Spoodlet soodle,
Shoof spa slee.
Spiggle spaggle,
Soo-doo-hooth,
Always, always tell the truth!


Twisto topra,
Trip-o-row,
Traydoh tronto,
Twoopwa thwo,
Tagrat tockwa,
Troobla threed,
Try your best and you’ll succeed!


Bloomsy binway,
Bronmo bee,
Brooshell bodo,
Blondo bree,
Brasmo bando,
Bagsy belf,
Be the friend you’d want yourself!


Floster fromra,
Frazzle fwee,
Fozlo fwoopton,
Festlin flee,
Feltfro feeglin,
Figwa flay,
Mind your manners everyday!


Podken poofla,
Parsen pine,
Poxclan pockwo,
Piglin prine,
Prazmen pitriv,
Pinbee preed,
Be quick to help someone in need!


Deckla dwando,
Drigger dree,
Donstag dilfra,
Dentra dlee,
Dabstab dister,
Daxwa dwite,
Stand up for what you feel is right!


Grimwad genchee,
Goobla gree,
Glizma groobcha,
Gnixma gee,
Gwintru glenza,
Gagwid gray,
I stand behind you all the way!


Kigma kwenlo,
Krispak klee,
Kregla kanway,
Kwinto kwee,
Kosnot kantro,
Kiglee kroo,
I love you silly, yes I do!






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Comments by other Members



Derek at 08:41 on 14 March 2006  Report this post
Certainly an original idea, Michelle and full of fun. Had you a picture book in mind or is it straightforward poem for a compilation or whatever? I loved the nonsense language with the little lesson twists. Only crit might be that the adult reading this aloud to their child would have to have an extremely dexterous tongue to get round your wonderful words.
Good stuff

DK

Bandy Bundy at 09:44 on 14 March 2006  Report this post
Hi Michelle,

Don't think I've seen anything like this before and I've read a lot of books to my kids.

Poetry isn't really my thing but, I think my younger kids would love it, 4-5 age group, coupled with some nonsense pictures.

Also really liked the theme of each last line. There's not enough positive affirmation for children.

Kev.

Argyle at 10:31 on 14 March 2006  Report this post
Hi Michelle,

A very interesting style of poem and aimed for very young children I assume? Not something that I've read a similar style to at all, and the morals at the end of each verse are very nice. I had a great children's poetry book when I was younger and it had hundreds of poems, but I can't recall reading anything of this style before.

The only thing I'd say is I agree with Derek that some of the words might be a bit complex in pronunciation, but other than that it's a nice little piece

Issy at 13:27 on 14 March 2006  Report this post
I loved the array of strange words and did try them out loud - they have a sort of musical feel and sound to them that slips along and are fine by me. Difficult to illustrate I would think so as it is maybe in an anthology of children's verse?

On a very personal note, I'm not keen on the direct message to children, preferring that they work it out. In my opinion if the last sentence of each stanza could spell out a little story involving a character - and just one theme - it would be far stronger. It would also have the benefit of being able to be illustrated in a picture book style.

Ignore me if not helpful. All the best with this very unusual piece of verse.



Nik Perring at 14:03 on 16 March 2006  Report this post
Very unusual, but a lot of fun. I'm with Issy on the letting them work it out themselves front.

What plans do you have for it?

Nice work,

Nik.

SarahT at 19:16 on 16 March 2006  Report this post
Hi Michelle,

I thought that your words were great but I have a word of caution. I tried a piece of work with nonsense words in it on my children at the age that might be reading these poems. (It wasn't my own, btw.) My kids couldn't appreciate them, which bewildered me at the time but on reflection, I think it was because they didn't understand them without a context. If you are to market this, you may need to make the nonsense words mean something. Maybe you could turn them into animals? How about pitching it as an interactive book where the child can draw their own creatures to fit the words?

S

lieslj at 05:01 on 23 March 2006  Report this post
Hi Michelle,

Welcome to WW. I hope you'll stay and find many writerly friends who share this strange trip with you.

This is certainly a fun concept and I like the basic idea. However, my concern comes as an ex-teacher. Children learning to read have enough difficulty sounding out regular words. While some made up fun words work in a text, to have such a high percentage of words that a child would have difficulty assessing is problematic.

Other comments about allowing a child to come to realisation of the truth are valid too. Hope this gives you some things to think about as you work and play with this text.

Liesl


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