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Saving the Hostage

by Sam Rix 

Posted: 12 March 2006
Word Count: 231
Summary: One I'm working on, which I'm not quite happy with yet, let's see what you all think?


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Saving the Hostage

Black thoughts, no way forward
An entangled web with acid threads

Ancient enemies, ghosts, old battle scars
The conditioned response I canít disconnect

The more I wrestle, the more I sink
Deeper the dilemma, my thoughts like lead

Uncertain consequence, unyielding chains
Fathomless reasoning, retreat into my cave

Strong shoulders, take the load
Bitter, bitter pill, swallow it quick

Wrong choices, wrong reaction
Reality, knowing the awful truth

The trap is sprung, the snare has slipped tight
Denying in stubbornness, fool Iíve become

Eyes searching to my soul
Looking into the place I hide, no retreat

My worries, my fears
Clues she knows well, pain she sees

The door sighs open, as she tiptoes within
Discovering the little boy, hands covering his face

A whisper of concern, a caress of relief
Breathe the warmth from the bosom, as the demons are held at bay

Delicate motions, a lovers waltz
Lead me with honeyed bread crumbs, from my stagnant lair

Patient, considerate, my emotional mentor watches
Applying a balm and bandage, a warm soapy bath

A key is discovered, by one so close
Shackles are broken, my ragged arms are released

The zephyr hits me, debris cleared from my feet
Clarity beckons, on her wings we levitate

Sanctuary, a place for the unworthy, home, acceptance, time to recharge,
Before I face the music, with the Valkyrie at my side







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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 10:47 on 21 April 2006  Report this post
Very bleak and frightening - loved the feel of this. I think maybe there should be some tightening/editing though - what about:

Black thoughts, no way forward
An entangled web with acid threads

Ancient enemies, ghosts, old battle scars
The conditioned response I canít disconnect

The more I wrestle, the more I sink
Deeper the dilemma, my thoughts like lead

Uncertain consequence, unyielding chains
Fathomless reasoning, retreat into my cave

Strong shoulders, take the load
Bitter, bitter pill, swallow it quick

Wrong choices, wrong reaction
Reality, knowing the awful truth

The trap is sprung, the snare has slipped tight
Denying in stubbornness, fool Iíve become

Eyes searching to my soul
Looking into the place I hide, no retreat

My worries, my fears
Clues she knows well, pain she sees

The door sighs open, as she tiptoes within
Discovering the little boy, hands covering his face

Delicate motions, a lovers waltz
Lead me with honeyed bread crumbs, from my stagnant lair

A key is discovered, by one so close
Shackles are broken, my ragged arms are released

The zephyr hits me, debris cleared from my feet
Clarity beckons, on her wings we levitate



I've cut 3 couplets, including the end one - I think that might give it more freedom and power, rather than being too specific about actual events? Just a thought.

A very powerful poem indeed.

A
xxx


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