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Relinquish

by Ellenna 

Posted: 20 August 2003
Word Count: 122
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thank you for the spell you cast
no longer rationalised
thank you for the broken charms
my senses paralysed

thank you for the woven dreams
worn to my design
thank you for the images
distorted to be mine

thank you for the moonshine
that built my universe
thank you for the whispered hope
when insight knew far worse

thank you for reflections
mirrored like a shield
thank you for eclipsing love
with shadows that you wield

thank you for the leap of faith
and for the sun and moon
thank you for delusion
and dancing to your tune

thank you for the taste of love
and strength to walk away
by keeping safe your guarded heart
will you thank me one day?






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Comments by other Members



olebut at 22:52 on 20 August 2003  Report this post
Ellie I odubt that there are many of us who havent thought similar words at some time in our lives but i doubt w eput them so elequently.



thank you for sharing your poem with us
take care

david
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Fearless at 09:16 on 21 August 2003  Report this post
I am often reminded of the many facets of the power of language. Words can caress like a feather, but when wielded like a scalpel, can cut, wound and puncture. In this instance, my heart feels, squeezed, twisted; yet it beats on.

Thanks Ellie......Fearless
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Account Closed at 14:09 on 21 August 2003  Report this post
Hi there - I thought this had a wonderful twisted & sinister appeal - you use words & the rhyme to make everything edgier. It's very dark - loved it.

Anne B
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Nell at 17:04 on 21 August 2003  Report this post
As David said, emotions we've all felt yet we've needed someone to find the words. Thanks Ellie.

Best, Nell.
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bluesky3d at 17:20 on 21 August 2003  Report this post
The rhyme adds poignancy and a sharp mocking edge to the words. Like a scalpel, it cuts to the bone.

great stuff Ellie

Andrew :o)
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Barney at 00:24 on 22 August 2003  Report this post
If this doesn't get people to sign up I don't know what will! You have an excellent sense for rhyme and rhythm, married with an honest and gutsy tone. Also your ability to find an ending is an enviable one.

Now we just need a better name for our little party! (And I need to pay my subscription!)

Cheers,
Barney
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Ellenna at 06:50 on 22 August 2003  Report this post
David, Fearless, Holly, Nell Barney and Andrew... thank you for reading this. Yes its a bitter little piece about banging your head against a brick wall basically lol... still life isn't always a bed of roses is it? .... well it is sometimes... umm yes it is..

I'm glad it struck a chord ..nevertheless. Thank you.

Ellie :)
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Tina at 10:57 on 25 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Elie

I liked the rhythm of this
It echoed the ordinaryness of such deeply felt emotions and how much this is an invisible part of everyday life.
If felt very well put together like through this your character held together no matter what
I liked that - it gives hope.
Thanks for sharing your work

Tina
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Ellenna at 17:21 on 25 August 2003  Report this post
Tina hello and welcome and many thanks for your kind comments too!

Ellie:)
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