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Wk 3: Echo

by apsara 

Posted: 01 March 2006
Word Count: 116

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On the lonely cliff, Echo,
caught a scent so familiar
yet so strange. It made her gasp.
Her nostrils strained to catch
the smell of wanting. Echo, unafraid,
accustomed to her thankless gift,
waited for the call she knew would come,
playing a finger game devised
to fill the lonely hours, its outcome
inevitable but never sure.
The call rang out, the one
that matched the smell in colour,
taste and tone. She answered
in the only way she could, grasping
the emotion, caressing it and sending
back its tattered end strung with ribbons
of her sympathy, the quiet bells
of her concern. Enough
she hoped to mask the odour,
perhaps enough to turn the tale.

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Comments by other Members

DJC at 10:33 on 02 March 2006  Report this post
Apsara - how clever is this! This has to win the most original way of using an rlg line yet. I had to read it twice to work out where it was! I really like this, especially the bit about the finger game. I thought about the obvious, then wasn't sure. It keeps you guessing. It has a mythical feel to it, I guess because of the story of Echo and Narcissus. An original and well-structured poem, which uses the rlg line superbly. Good stuff!


apsara at 09:23 on 03 March 2006  Report this post
Thanks, Darren. I think it reminds me of party games we used to play - & have always enjoyed the 'open the dictionary, pick out random words, write' sort of exercise.
Anyway thanks to this group for getting me writing.

Okkervil at 09:47 on 03 March 2006  Report this post
This is really tight, well written, fluid. I enjoyed the almost animalistically sensitive exploration of smell, how you confuse it with emotions, as we all do, I guess, building associations and shifting them. Anyone read 'Little Beaver and the Echo'? Rather a lovely kid's books that this reminded me of, not just because of the similiar title, but the straining, grasping at any contact, giving your own inflection. Liked it!


Elsie at 19:36 on 03 March 2006  Report this post
Apsara - for some reason I think Echo is a deer - but then the finger game doesn't fit. Or is Echo an echo? I must admit I don't quite understand. Clever use of the RLG.

apsara at 23:53 on 03 March 2006  Report this post
I never thought of her being a deer - though I can see why you might think so. I was thinking of Echo the nymph in Greek myth - she is not allowed to say anything except repeat what is said to her. I suppose I'm thinking of a time when Echo has learnt to use this skill to convey meaning & has also become very good at interpreting feeling with all her senses - so perhaps she has become more animal-like....
I actually did this poem in the spirit of Flash - very quickly with only one revision so interesting that there is so much meaning in it.

ccatherine at 11:22 on 04 March 2006  Report this post
This is beautiful and fluid. I have not had time to consider it in full but love the use of the rlg.

well done


gard at 20:32 on 04 March 2006  Report this post
Hi E

all of the above. Nicely written too.


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