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Stones Skimming

by Harris 

Posted: 25 February 2006
Word Count: 120
Summary: Here goes...


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A penny-thin pebble presses smoothly
Into my palm, the cool liquid chink,
Stirs feelings of a time of calm,
Mist stands delicate on a mirror,
Reflecting waves of flowing foliage,
My feet crunch softly in the still air,
Our voices echo dimly, in the grey veiled silence.

A flash, the stone flickers across the surface,
Water, rock, air, unite in fluid purpose,
Dying in a moment, silent ripples mark
A fading memory, the stone sinks into the dark.

The busy rush of plastic life passes coldly over me.

My mind settles down, into the restful deep,
As the stone sinks down, silently I keep,
The peace of long still water, this is automatic,
Skimming stones, between the fizz of static.






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Comments by other Members



Tigger23 at 20:17 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Hello,

I really liked this piece. It contains some nice imagery, of something that we have probably all done, but you have managed to explore it in a new way,

Well done

gard at 20:40 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Harris

very nice!! lots of poetic tools in this piece, imagery alliteraton (maybe a little too much for my taste, but thats my taste only and I have used it a lot myself), rhyme and rhythm. I particularly like the descriptiveness of this piece.

nice one

G

paul53 [for I am he] at 08:12 on 26 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Matt,
Gina's summed this up succinctly. An off-the-cuff exercise, but full of poetic nuance nonetheless. Eager to see more of your work.

Elsie at 10:57 on 26 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Harris, very atmospheric and peace-inducing. really like it. The random generated line plops into place nicely at the end.

Cailleachna at 12:08 on 26 February 2006  Report this post
I especially liked:

The busy rush of plastic life passes coldly over me.

Standing out on its own like that, the artificiality of the "plastic life" in stark contrast to the stillness and natural calm the writer is absorbed in just sent a shiver down my spine. Excellent.


DJC at 16:04 on 28 February 2006  Report this post
Matt,

A really good first flash - well done. I love 'the grey-veiled silence'- nicely done. And the last two lines work well together. I like the way you leave the key line until the end - it somehow has more power here.

Welcome to our world!

Darren

Account Closed at 11:09 on 26 April 2006  Report this post
Hi, I agree there was some good imagery here. I enjoyed the contrast between the busy plastic life and the solitude of skimming stones.

JB


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