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Flash Poetry #2: Drift

by Cailleachna 

Posted: 25 February 2006
Word Count: 98
Summary: 'Skimming stones, between the fizz of static.'


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Silence fills me, a
Kind of peaceful breath
Inside my lungs, spreads to
My heart,
My spine
I wait for something
Not knowing why I wait
Giving my faith over to the mystery.

Shining light from my hands, my eyes closed
Tightly, this is no
Ordinary time and space
Now I feel the room
Expand around me
Somehow taking my sight beyond my sight

Between the lights,
The night-dark sky, the clouds froth,
Fizz, a barrier like a blanket
Of water. I sense the perimeter. I sense the
Static, keeping me within my limits. Early days. I'll learn.






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Comments by other Members



paul53 [for I am he] at 12:41 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Aha, a clever-clogs acrostic. What a sharp response - I'd never have thought of doing one. Hope you win.

joanie at 18:37 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Cailleachna. I don't normally comment on other groups' work because I just don't have the time usually, but I have to say that I love
Not knowing why I wait
Giving my faith over to the mystery.


I haven't been part of the Flash Poetry group but I like your acrostic reponse! Very clever.

joanie



gard at 18:58 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Nice one C

imaginative and cleverly done I too like

Not knowing why I wait
Giving my faith over to the mystery.



G

Elsie at 19:33 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Hi - I was puzzled at first wondering what had happened to the RLG line, then found some of it. The skimming stones have sunk somewhere though! I liked the idea of the perimeter - it feels like it's about learning/trying to astral project, maybe?

Tigger23 at 20:22 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Hello,

Like everybody else, I think this piece has a lot going for it.

Well done

Cailleachna at 11:45 on 26 February 2006  Report this post
Elsie

Read down the first letters of the first two verses, the stones will reappear. You're spot on about the astral projection, by the way!

Thanks for everyone's positive responses. I don't usually go for this kind of arrhythmic poetry, but it seems to work pretty well.


Okkervil at 22:21 on 27 February 2006  Report this post
Astral projection, eh? There's little bits in there that gave me over to thinking it was some particularly eloquent/spaced-out foetus. I like the opening, ending on 'spine,' which seemed quite an odd turn o'phrase, and enjoyable, plonked next to 'heart' with all its slightly clumsier associations. Yeah, I enjoyed it, and like that it's off the cuff.

Bye!

James




Esther Frances at 15:13 on 25 March 2006  Report this post
Hi there - I am new to the site so am perusing the work of others. I liked this piece because you started with inner body space and then moved onto that body within the context of outer space/existance. We are all energy and part of the same root and universe so for that reason I particularly liked

"I sense the perimeter. I sense the
Static, keeping me within my limits."

Well done. Esther Frances.


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