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Flash Poetry #2: Drift
Posted: 25 February 2006
Word Count: 98
Summary: 'Skimming stones, between the fizz of static.'
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Silence fills me, a
Kind of peaceful breath
Inside my lungs, spreads to
My heart,
My spine
I wait for something
Not knowing why I wait
Giving my faith over to the mystery.
Shining light from my hands, my eyes closed
Tightly, this is no
Ordinary time and space
Now I feel the room
Expand around me
Somehow taking my sight beyond my sight
Between the lights,
The night-dark sky, the clouds froth,
Fizz, a barrier like a blanket
Of water. I sense the perimeter. I sense the
Static, keeping me within my limits. Early days. I'll learn.
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Comments by other Members
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 joanie at 18:37 on 25 February 2006
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Hi Cailleachna. I don't normally comment on other groups' work because I just don't have the time usually, but I have to say that I love Not knowing why I wait
Giving my faith over to the mystery. |
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I haven't been part of the Flash Poetry group but I like your acrostic reponse! Very clever.
joanie
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 gard at 18:58 on 25 February 2006
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Nice one C
imaginative and cleverly done I too like
Not knowing why I wait
Giving my faith over to the mystery. |
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G
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 Elsie at 19:33 on 25 February 2006
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Hi - I was puzzled at first wondering what had happened to the RLG line, then found some of it. The skimming stones have sunk somewhere though! I liked the idea of the perimeter - it feels like it's about learning/trying to astral project, maybe?
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Tigger23 at 20:22 on 25 February 2006
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Hello,
Like everybody else, I think this piece has a lot going for it.
Well done
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Cailleachna at 11:45 on 26 February 2006
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Elsie
Read down the first letters of the first two verses, the stones will reappear. You're spot on about the astral projection, by the way!
Thanks for everyone's positive responses. I don't usually go for this kind of arrhythmic poetry, but it seems to work pretty well.
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Okkervil at 22:21 on 27 February 2006
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Astral projection, eh? There's little bits in there that gave me over to thinking it was some particularly eloquent/spaced-out foetus. I like the opening, ending on 'spine,' which seemed quite an odd turn o'phrase, and enjoyable, plonked next to 'heart' with all its slightly clumsier associations. Yeah, I enjoyed it, and like that it's off the cuff.
Bye!
James
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Esther Frances at 15:13 on 25 March 2006
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Hi there - I am new to the site so am perusing the work of others. I liked this piece because you started with inner body space and then moved onto that body within the context of outer space/existance. We are all energy and part of the same root and universe so for that reason I particularly liked
"I sense the perimeter. I sense the
Static, keeping me within my limits."
Well done. Esther Frances.
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Comments by other Members
