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Gothic Nightmare

by Crap guitarist 

Posted: 20 February 2006
Word Count: 207


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I knew that lying still would not save me. My fear and anxiety grow.I am tense and cold beads of nervous sweat form upon my brow. I know she will come.

The oppression of the rooms furnishings weigh heavy on me.My eyes which I somehow prise open are drawn to a part of the room which has just a dash of light.
But she does not appear. Not yet.

I almost feel crushed inside.Appalled at my erotic intrigue and male weakness which battles with my fear. I cannot draw my eyes away.

She appears,sickeningly beautiful.An apparition,pale and haunting.
At first she does not seem to acknowledge my prescence and through my terror I feel a twinge of...foolishness?....Jealousy?

Then she turns to me,drifting across the room. An apparitional beauty surrounded by a shimmering aura.
As I lie completely still i cannot touch her,
yet every nerve ending in my body can feel her. Before I am consumed by her ghostly beauty I baulk at the stench of death which pours forth from her. I sit bolt upright releasing a shriek,her face changes to one of pure evil not 6 inches before my very own eyes and she is gone.

I fall back to the bed a sobbing wreck.






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Comments by other Members



sazzyjack at 21:27 on 20 February 2006  Report this post
Wow Dan,
Powerful stuff! I really love the imagery here. This is excellent writing.
Saz

Jekyll&Hyde at 08:14 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Crap guitarist,

I enjoyed this, and think you've got a good writing style. Very readable.

Love the title, too.

Favourite line:
She appears,sickeningly beautiful.An apparition,pale and haunting.


S.M.

Crap guitarist at 15:04 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Thanks guys!!!

Saz, you made me blush!!

Ste, you made me blush too!! Ha,ha only kidding mate. really appreciate your comments. Thanks.

Dan.

Jolie at 08:20 on 24 February 2006  Report this post
Hey,

You already know what I think - it's great.

I enjoyed all of it, in particular, these lines stood out for me:

As I lie completely still i cannot touch her,
yet every nerve ending in my body can feel her


Well done,

Sarah

Crap guitarist at 18:37 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Thanks Sarah, those comments are really appreciated. Im over the moon with your choice of fave line. This piece was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe.

Dan.


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