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Prison

by Margrethe 

Posted: 16 August 2003
Word Count: 58
Summary: Hey I am new to this :-) thought I would try to upload one of my poems. Would love to see some comments if anyone would care to do so :-)
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PRISON

She is laying beside me,
I want to touch -
her body is always cold.

She is laying beside me,
I want to whisper -
her mind is always absent.

She is lying beside me,
I want to share -
her heart is always closed

Were are you - my fantasy -
my saviour from this prison.






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Comments by other Members



roger at 08:09 on 17 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Marg,

So sad, and beautifully done, too.

Congtatulations and welcome.
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poemsgalore at 12:43 on 17 August 2003  Report this post
Well written Marg, you get a real sense of being alone here, very sad.
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Margrethe at 15:02 on 17 August 2003  Report this post
Thank you so much for your comments :-) I wrote this poem for a friend of mine. At the time his marriage really was in a bad patch, and he struggeled find words to describe how he was feeling so he could address the situation.
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spud at 18:04 on 17 August 2003  Report this post
I really liked this - it has an economy of style, but gets right to the heart of what you are trying to say - and you've succeeded.
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Tina at 16:31 on 06 October 2003  Report this post
I really like this 2
Hits home the essence without having to hammmer at every thread.
Thanks
Tina
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Tarbra at 11:45 on 09 November 2005  Report this post
Nice one, straight to the point, which is good. Have fun, Linda
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