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Adoration -- for Kate (slight edit)

by seanfarragher 

Posted: 06 February 2006
Word Count: 314
Summary: Confessional Poem for Nell's Poetry Seminar Prompt
Related Works: Birthday Poem 1-8-2006 Revised THIRD TIME • Books from the Bible • 

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Adoration, for Kate

Perhaps, I am the New World
to you -- Imagine first steps
in what would become
New Netherland in 1609.
Now, or in the past
it had no name. It is/was
without form, and mysterious
and then in morning
vivid and every motion
fresh, vague a half
recollection of past obscured
by an earlier death,
or maybe you are
now the first being
in paradise complete
with parasol -- Paris, 1881
Pierre Auguste Renoir, a
painting of sunlight --
an intuition rather
than definitive story
written down by prophets –

We are messengers
and you begin to see
through our eyes, yours
mine and the lilacs
of drawn violet in summer
past the lake where we
slept behind the oak
as if we were settlers
explorers and perhaps
spirts with a conscience
who came out of our
hands and live in our kiss.

It is all new of course
changed to my perception
and creation called worship.

What have we seen? What
are the pathways when love
rides slowly from our courage
to unsettle the universe, --
More, we say, so much larger
the envelope of life from algae
to the unknowable virtual rings
of light that encircle our ashes.

Yes, love accepts everything
not only the pennies but the fall.

Large words trimmed with ermine
skip between sheets and steel.

Weapons poised force allegiance
No one measures agape or gives
laurels for the drowned lives before
we settle again in the next field
and the next beyond next beyond first.

We are carried away beyond sight
to the jubilant arch where ceremony
and casual steps follow the steps up
and then down the rocks of the fjord.

Every funeral pyre collects our words
marks the calendar and stains the page
with the details, commentary and floods
from every human life turned out
to climb the last stairway to our bed.






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Comments by other Members



Nell at 08:16 on 07 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Sean,

With a first reading I'm struck by what seems to be concentration on the subject of the poem. There are fewer distractions here than in your previous poems, and I found it lucid and enjoyable with marvellous imagery.

It's interesting that you begin the poem by musing on what the poet is to the worshipped one, rather than what she is to him. That seemed strange, and although I'd never presume to re-write your poem, I wonder if you've thought of turning it around, being positive rather than hesitant: You are the New World to me... A huge concept.

I noticed that the political message is here too, although in a less forceful form, and I believe it has more impact like this. As always with your poems, this one will repay the time spent on it. Some romantic part of me wanted the weapons cut, wanted the worship to be unsullied by the real world, yet I feel you have been more disciplined with this one.

For me - and this is my personal view only - I'd prefer the poem without those forceful statements that seem to tell the reader what to think: We are all messengers... and ...Weapons poised force allegiance... I wanted the worship fixated, to exclude all else.

This does feel different from what we've come to expect, a concentration on another, introspection forgotten for the time being, sunlight rather than darkness, love rather than raw sex. Kate's definitely real, I'd say.

A new song - a side of Sean we haven't seen before. A great response.

Nell.

seanfarragher at 12:29 on 07 February 2006  Report this post
thank you, and she is very much real, and new, and surprised by me, and poetry, and my world, and not sure how to deal with it all; hence the beginning. Her world, pentacostal, if you can believe it, rural, but she has come to Yankee land as they call the American north east. She is smart, lovely and wants so much to adore me. I cannot help but adore her. She is beyond the expectations of this gent. Yet, I don't wake up and find her gone.

I wrote the poem last night as an exercise to show her the confessional poem, which oddly I use as a first step to knowing poetry from the inside, to become, to be in touch with one's feelings

as to the forceful words, they will be mitigated. First drafts for me start that way, and my editing sense (not political sense) takes over.

Sean

paul53 [for I am he] at 14:23 on 07 February 2006  Report this post
There's a lot more in this than a few readings will bring out.
I must confess I read "We are all messengers" as a clarion call. I think it was Robert Pogue Harrison who called poets the new watchmen on the wall, argus-eyed when all within had turned their heads away. It'd make a great name for a poetry group: not those tinkering with words but those broadcasting the weather report of a coming storm; those trying to extrapolate the world bout them and prophesy the likely future [much as SF writers did in the past].
As Nell said, this is you but more accessible.
Did I read "agape" right? Did you mean open-mouthed wonder or the Christian expression of true love as God intended?

seanfarragher at 15:15 on 07 February 2006  Report this post
thank you paul. yes, agape is right. Poem needs work. It needs to be stripped of my down home new love affair passion. LOL. cliches breed there. Yet, i can sustain the tone. I agree about messenger.

thanks

Shika at 15:13 on 08 February 2006  Report this post
Sean, I don't feel very confident about commenting on your work as it seems so layered, I feel I miss a lot. I didn't feel that way with this poem. I loved the feel and could see the images. I actually liked the agape, it seemed to fit with the mood of the poem very much. S


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