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Lucky me
Posted: 30 January 2006
Word Count: 46
Summary: 'A feline presence' exercise (through machinery, roll of plaster, metal owl, and paint tube)
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Only I could sleep amid this noise
The clank clash bang
the whirring belts, the press
the hiss
And here I lie
dentable, like plasticine
or velvet,
curled up tight
until some passer by with booted toes
disrupts my slumber
so I might cross his path
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Comments by other Members
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 Nell at 07:13 on 31 January 2006
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Hi Xenny, this is surprising! I love the title, which is perfect, and doing so much. It completes a circle with the last line, and the cat is definitely present - you even tell us that it's black without doing so. I love wondering where the cat is - perhaps in a factory - the press/hiss suggest a printer's or a laundry, although it doesn't have to be either, and the thought of someone disturbing one in that way just so it might cross their path is nicely strange - would that be lucky I wonder? I like the way plasticene suddenly becomes velvet with that enjambment. A lovely glimpse - somehow just the right length for impact too - a great response.
Nell.
<Added>
Forgot to say that I liked 'indentable' very much, also the thought that the cat is thinking and sleeping at the same time.
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 paul53 [for I am he] at 08:35 on 31 January 2006
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This is a quietly clever piece. I like especially the use of "indentable" to relate it to its environment, and sleeping through the noise, as I like to be reminded every so often that we are dealing with a separate species, them patiently trying to communicate with us [like reaching up to pat my face if I am glued to the TV, or using the arm of the sofa to miaow directly into my ear].
As to why black cats are considered lucky [and why most of them have a few white hairs - the real lucky ones] I couldn't believe it when I first read about it in a Desmond Morris book.
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Heckyspice at 09:07 on 31 January 2006
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Hi Xenny,
This purrfectly sums up the nature of a cat.
David
Ps. Sorry for the cringe-worthy pun.
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 joanie at 10:41 on 31 January 2006
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Brilliant, Xenny! Perfect opening and closing lines - a cat exactly.
I enjoyed this - a very good response.
joanie
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 Elsie at 15:02 on 31 January 2006
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Xenny this is wonderful, very compact, concise, not a word out of place.
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DJC at 15:20 on 31 January 2006
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This has a lovely movement, and the lineation draws you through the images well. Only one small thing - why is plasticene, in this context, indentable? Not sure about this image. Other than that I think it captures the cat really well.
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Xenny at 18:42 on 31 January 2006
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Oh no! Darren I thought indentable meant 'can be indented'. Does it not? I only have the second half of a dictionary just now and it doesn't do 'i' (I'm going to get a whole one soon!)
Thankyou for reading and your comments all of you. They are much appreciated.
Nell - it was a great exercise. I think it got something more poetic out of me than I normally manage to write. The cat is in some sort of factory but I'm not sure what sort. I really liked your 'printers' idea and thought of changing 'turning cogs' to 'whirring belts'. This seems to make all the machine images coalesce better. What do you think?
Paul, what is the reason black cat's are considered lucky? I maybe read/heard something about white hairs being to do with witches' cats being burnt if they were all black, but I might be making that up. I know black cats are lucky here but in America it is white ones which are lucky and black are unlucky. I think.
Xenny
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paul53 [for I am he] at 14:01 on 02 February 2006
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According to Desmond Morris in Catwatching / Catlore, the "good" Christians full of love for all God's Creations used to hold a live black cat burning bonfire on the Feast of St. John [don't ask me why - the bastards] but the sacrificial cats had to be completely black with not one white hair on them. Most black cats these days therefore have a few white hairs dotted about. Any that are all black are "lucky" as their ancestors survived the Dark Ages.
I often wonder what we are all doing now that future generations will spit as us for - killing the planet and blaming everyone else but ourselves, I suppose.
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DJC at 15:29 on 02 February 2006
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Indentable - how about 'dentable'? Just a thought.
And fancy only having half a dictionary... At least the word 'stanza' is in your half...
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Nell at 16:45 on 02 February 2006
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Hi Xenny, 'whirring belts' sounds/feels more satisfying to hear/say than 'turning cogs' (I think), and 'whirring' is reminiscent of 'purring', and ties up with 'hiss' (as cats do that too). Glad you enjoyed the exercise!
Nell.
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Xenny at 16:53 on 02 February 2006
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Darren - a friend who has the Shorter Oxford had two copies of the second book for some reason, so gave one to me. So it's not that weird. I wondered about dentable, yes I think so.
Nell - changed it, thankyou.
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Xenny at 17:00 on 02 February 2006
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Paul, thanks for filling me in!
>I often wonder what we are all doing now that future generations will spit as us for - killing >the planet and blaming everyone else but ourselves, I suppose.
Watching TV I think
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DJC at 19:37 on 02 February 2006
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Ah, now we're getting somewhere - this poem is hitting the spot...
D.
ps.I have both Shorter Oxfords, and they're fantastic. They are my prized possessions. I once had a £500 bursary for professional development at work, and spent the whole lot in one go in Borders. Ah, the happiest afternoon of my life... Had very long arms carrying everything back to the car, mind.
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