|
|
 |
C`est la vie
Posted: 27 January 2006
Word Count: 58
Summary: I'm not happy with the title but I'll wait for inspiration or suggestions!
|
Font Size
|
|
V2
I longed to be
an anthology
of rhyming, scanning,
metre-rich
heartfelt works
written from the soul,
but finally
I settled
for a limerick
which didn't really rhyme.
V1
I longed to be
an anthology
of rhyming, scanning, metre-rich
form-correct masterpieces;
heartfelt works
written from the soul,
but finally I settled
for a limerick
which didn't really rhyme.
|
Comments by other Members
| |
 James Graham at 17:03 on 28 January 2006
 Report this post
|
Hi Joanie - A limerick that doesn't rhyme...that's very sad. What a shame. Can't be true. We all think you're a Golden Treasury.
I tried to come up with a title but I'm stumped, except maybe for something like 'Self-analysis' - not meant entirely seriously, but deliberately a bit pretentious. Best to throw this open to the group - unless you've already had the inspiration!
James.
|
|
| |
 Elsie at 17:18 on 28 January 2006
Report this post
|
How about 'critique' or literary criticism, or 'synopsis'?
Elsex
<Added>
er - thats Els x, nor El sex!
| |
 DJC at 19:41 on 28 January 2006
Report this post
|
I like this, Joanie - you manage to do this light, but thought-provoking, stuff very well. Rather postmodern if I may say so. Okay, maybe that's a bit much...it's fun!
| |
 joanie at 21:46 on 28 January 2006
Report this post
|
James, Elsie, Darren, thank you for commenting.
James - too kind!
Elsie - thanks! Yes definitely soemthing literary is needed.
Darren - I am googling 'Post modern' as I type!
joanie
<Added>
oops! meant 'something'!
| |
engldolph at 08:00 on 29 January 2006
Report this post
|
Hi Joanie,
Very cleverly put, with a hint of regret.
Great last line.
After reading over a few times, I couldn't qute get the rhythm...although, perhaps that is deliberate on your part.. i tried it without the line:
form-correct masterpieces; and it really flowed..
title... I think you are on the right track..but not sure about the lanaguage... maybe: My Life in Verse or something like that..
enjoyed
Mike
| |
joanie at 08:45 on 29 January 2006
Report this post
|
Thanks Mike. I see what you mean about missing out that line - it does read aloud better!
Many thanks.
joanie
| |
Tina at 17:25 on 29 January 2006
Report this post
|
Joanie
My little grey cells are thinking of a title for you - nothing yet though - back later
Tina
| |
|
|
Tina at 13:43 on 30 January 2006
Report this post
|
Hey Joanie - this is the best I can come up with!
What about
Queer Lear
or
Aspiration Frustration
or
Reluctant Rhyme
?????
All are humorous - hope that's OK!
T
| |
hailfabio at 09:35 on 31 January 2006
Report this post
|
How about simply 'Feedback'.
Reminds me of a line, 'Quote writer's block, to get publishers off my back.'
Stephen
| |
joanie at 17:51 on 31 January 2006
Report this post
|
Thanks for the suggestions! Actually, Stephen, I quite like 'Writer's Block' even though you hadn't intended that!
joanie
| |
James Graham at 18:19 on 01 February 2006
Report this post
|
Version 2 - excellent! It's as if you've lifted some weights off the lines - not very heavy weights, just wee 1g weights, but the verse is lighter and skips down the page. 'but finally' is the lightest and best touch.
James.
|
|
| |
|
|
 Brian Aird at 11:03 on 02 February 2006
Report this post
|
It's a terse verse rhyme crime
Not worth thing if it ain't got
something
Your poems always have that 'something'
Brian
| |
|
|
| |
Comments by other Members
