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Discarded

by Jubbly 

Posted: 24 January 2006
Word Count: 254


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Discarded

Where am I? Iím so very cold. Iíve been stripped naked and all my confidence has vanished. I am bereft of my usual adornments and ashamed to be seen. My new companions disgust me and seem to sneer at my torment with an overriding sense of Ď I told you so.í

Perhaps they assumed I felt superior, perhaps I did.

I havenít lived long but I always knew I was destined for something special. We all were, all of us groomed, tendered, nurtured and above all promised it would all be worth it. Oh and it was, there were days when I felt like a God, I was the centre of attention; I was loved, nay adored. They all admired me, said how splendid I was, and breathed in my delectable odour as though transported to another world. They all said I was the very best theyíd ever had.

I donít know what went wrong, all I do know is I was the last to find out. Such care was taken with me at the beginning- ďBe careful.Ē The female elder would say, ďĒDonít play so near, mind how you go.Ē

Iíve tasted greatness you know? An angel has spoken to me, I stood serenely beneath her and we grew quite close especially in the last days. But I should have heeded her warning; I should have listened when she hinted at what would eventually come to pass.

You see, a real tree is not for life; it is only just for Christmas.






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Comments by other Members



crowspark at 11:49 on 24 January 2006  Report this post
Ha! very clever Julie and great tongue in cheek humour and twist.
All the clues are there although I wont repeat them for fear of spoiling them, but loved "breathed in my delectable odour"

I stood serenely beneath her and we grew quite close especially in the last days.


Very funny.

You have an extra " in front of Don't.

Love the re-phrasing of that famous bumper sticker in your last sentence. (Do you need "only"?)

Thanks for the read.
Bill

Prospero at 12:36 on 24 January 2006  Report this post
Very good Julie. How little we respect those living things that don't have a voice. Well done for giving one to you MC.

Best

John

darrenm at 14:29 on 24 January 2006  Report this post
I enjoyed this too. It had a kind of double-pleasure for me, a wonderful first reading, trying to piece it all together and a very satisfying second reading once the ending had been revealed.

A very sad line:

I donít know what went wrong, all I do know is I was the last to find out.


..although it did seem funnier on the second reading.

I kind of agree with Bill on the last line (is 'only' necessary?) but the sentence seems to have a better rhythm as it is, I'm not sure..

Darren.

Jubbly at 08:34 on 25 January 2006  Report this post
Thanks Darren, John and Bill. I've always found it such a sad sight. I'll have a re think on that last line. Glad you liked it.

Julie
x

kennyp at 13:44 on 25 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Julie

This is a delighful little flash. Didn't see the ending coming at all.

Excellent.

Kenny

Dreamer at 02:30 on 27 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Julie,

Nice little tale which kept me guessing until the end.

The only thing I wondered about was this:
We all were, all of us groomed, tendered, nurtured and above all promised it would all be worth it.


Are thee one or two too many 'all's'?

Brian.

Anj at 12:51 on 28 January 2006  Report this post
Julie,

Lovely and funny, and somehow even a little heart-rending.

Andrea

Bianca at 14:19 on 28 January 2006  Report this post
Julie

This is indeed a tree that deserves a hug.

I did not pick up what was coming at all.

Very clever.

Shirley

Jumbo at 15:52 on 28 January 2006  Report this post
Julie

Wonderful. I didn't see the ending coming at all! And - as has already been said - that made the second read even sweeter!

The female elder - very clever! Nothing given away - but what a line!

Is, Iíve tasted greatness you know? really a question? Do you need that question mark!!

Wonderful writing - and a cracker (?) of a last line!

All the best

jumbo


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