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Science, Time and one Ancient Love Story ** END REVISED**

by seanfarragher 

Posted: 22 January 2006
Word Count: 465
Summary: Ritual and Meditation -- The Year is 1957
Related Works: Birthday Poem 1-8-2006 Revised THIRD TIME • "The End of the World is Near" • “Magical Mystery Tour” REVISED • “The Garden of Earthly Delights -- 2005” • 

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Science, Time and one Ancient Love Story
Sean Farragher

Every ritual speaks apogee and perigee.
Dull mathematics precisely drawn to add
one second to the Universal clock, which is --
more warning than ceremony. Think of it.
The spinning earth slows. Will it speed up
or will inertia keep time with a scowl.

I do not want that extra second. First,
it is attached to year 2005, which is not
very productive now, or every more.


2. Love Story in 1957

We live under the bridal floral high soprano
song of romantic birds finding their beaks.
We observe the beak to be hard, painful,
and not a kiss, tenderly given to mate
for reasons personal to species. I know human
beings are the top of the mountain, but
weathering, that inexorable rain covers us.
We watch nature change its own values.
We live bare seconds, no more.

I am closer to death, and further from birth.
Can I see the plodding words as they gracefully
and with rapture make the mud hot with sex
where ass plows in summer, and even
in winter. I remember, how red faced, this
sweet girl pushed snow down my neck.
I dug deep in the clean snow and pushed
that wet deep into her open coat and shirt.

I covered her breasts with easy hands.
She kissed me harder and with greater fury
after tripping me so I fell into the ice
and almost broke my crown, but her smile
that lust, even as we were fourteen, gathered
in the hot and cold of our adventures. We
dipped as we danced jitterbugged thrown
about her small frame and my athlete crown
had the grace of loving birds, great gray
eyes that held the seconds close as we
grew in her bed under the covers marching
to innocent relief and darker guilt. That
was past time, of course. How many seconds
have we added? 1957 had a bad taste too.

My grandfather died in April. He sculpted
truth into my fingertips, and when he
passed my sweet girl and I cried for our
loss. She said he was a saint. She knew it.
She would recite so many Rosaries --
answer mysteries and amend her life.

When he came our way
at the earliest end of winter
we held hands. Tom grinned
at our restlessness. He said.

“Watch the crocus break the ground
when winter’s ritual completes."

We knew what he meant.
Tom's garden held many words
drawn from the broken soil
as a map might show nature
drawn with invisible ink
only the righteous could read.

My girlfriend said. “Your grandfather
could have been a Priest.”
“No, no…,” I said. “I would not be here!”.
“Yes, you would; you’re always here.”


XX
My personal web site has reopened:
http://seanfarragher.com










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Comments by other Members



Shika at 08:57 on 23 January 2006  Report this post
Hi there

I understand the truism in the science poem but what I really hooked on to was the love story especially from the third stanza onwards. I found it very well drawn. I can see the 14 year old frolicking in the snow and then both of them crying for the lost grandfather. I liked a lot of the word play too, 'hot and cold' aventures and the dipping and dancing and jitterbugging. S

DJC at 14:16 on 23 January 2006  Report this post
I enjoyed this far more than some of your other work, Sean. I guess the narrative thread draws you through the poem, and really allows the images to work alongside one another. The image of hands and fingers:

I covered her breasts with easy hands.

and

He sculpted
truth into my fingertips,

make the poem gel really well. I guess in this respect the second half of the poem works better for me than the first, although, like I say, this is only my POV. There are some powerful images throughout, and it is thought-provoking.

We live bare seconds, no more.

I think this is very aptly put, and shows you at your best. I'd like to see more of this simple expression, I think - because it is clear, it communicates masses.

paul53 [for I am he] at 16:54 on 23 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Sean,
I liked the Love Story part very much. I tried to like the opening poem as well, but found its placement meant it was sorely overshadowed. Was it meant as an overture to the Love Story?
Paul

gard at 00:19 on 24 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Sean

Lovely phrase

We live under the bridal floral high soprano
song of romantic birds finding their beaks
.

I enjoyed the references and truisms to nature coupled to life and love and death.

A lovely romantic work full of clarity.

G

seanfarragher at 03:15 on 24 January 2006  Report this post
thank you G.

paul53 [for I am he] at 07:49 on 24 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Sean,
I think I see the logic of it. If one preceded the other, then there is a connection there, and it is up to us [reader and writer] to discover what it is.
*
Continuing previous thoughts:
I am constantly amazed that we humans have made a site like this work. Here we are at our separate terminals, many in different countries, communicating without sight, sound or touch. We will probably never meet, maybe never even pass close, never hear the inflexions in spoken word or see the subtle signals in facial and bodily signals – yet we can still make the occasional connection through our poetry.
I am taken back to Magritte’s “ce n'est pas une pipe”. We do not observe the pipe, we observe a picture of it. Or we observe a print of the picture of it. Or a .jpeg of the print of the picture of it. Here, now, we have just the separate but shared memories of the image of the object, yet a connection is still be made. That is amazing in itself, but taken as commonplace.
I am not a great one for deconstructing poetry, unless an error makes the piece jar. I try my best not to get technical as I want to prune the dead wood from my comments as much as from my work.
I feel the greatness of, say, Dylan Thomas’ “Do not go gentle into that dark night” [or the many similar pieces by Empson] is not that it is a seemingly effortless villanelle, but that we FORGET it is a villanelle because the poem so readily flows upon the scaffolding supporting it.
My main response is that a piece either makes a connection with me or it does not. I have a friend who takes music and deconstructs it into point and counterpoint and other abstruse technical phrases, appreciating the tiny nuances that set it apart. He enjoys doing so, so what can one say? I, however, let a piece of music take me for a ride, and I do the same for poetry. I can’t say I feel bad about this; there are many others ready to dissect and give marks out of ten. Me, I want to be moved. I want to make a connection – down cables and across the ether.
Paul

Elsie at 18:20 on 28 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Sean, I looked athis a few days ago, and dedcided to come back. There is a bit that is puzzling me.
[quote] When he came our way last winter
as we held hands, Tom grinned
with youthful restlessness, his eyes said.

“Your life can be filled with honor if you
watch the crocus break the ground
when winter’s ritual completes. {/quote]
Did his eyes say he had youthful restlessness, or "Your life'...etc?

I wondered at the repetition of the word crown - certainly an old fashioned word rarely heard these days.

Are the two pieces linked? Please excuse me if the quote box thing doesn't work! I'd be interested to see your comments on writing within the group.



<Added>

Damn - it didn't. Sorry. I think I used the wrong backet!

seanfarragher at 22:52 on 28 January 2006  Report this post
Thank You for your comments Elsie. I revised the ending of the poem. I was never satisfied with it, but your comments help me focus on what was not working. Thank You. The two parts to the poem are one. The first is necessary as a frame for universal time, and the second part, is specific --- a period of my life.

I will be around to read. I do appreciate your attention to the poem


Sean

Elsie at 10:00 on 29 January 2006  Report this post
Sean, you've changed it quite a bit. I think it works much better, and I don't think you had them hold hands before.

seanfarragher at 16:44 on 29 January 2006  Report this post
thanks elsie


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