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Underground

by md 

Posted: 20 January 2006
Word Count: 244


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Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.


Ugly, it is ugly. People all around are cast down in misery, dejection, pain, fear, loneliness and suffering. Itís an evil and contagious plague, a pandemic afflicting the drudging masses. I donít know what Iím doing here.
ĎGet out of it! Run away. Do anything,í he said.
And in that one moment he incited a revolution in me. His words scorched a passionate message of freedom into my soul.
ĎOK!í I shout. ĎIím doing it! Iím getting off this fucking steel coffin now!í
Overwhelmed by my newfound zeal, I struggle to my feet as the people around me stare, shocked, their weird brooding silence shattered by me, a half-crazed infiltrator, an outsider. Like a scene from the Invasion of the Bodysnatchers they stare slack-jawed, even pointing, and I make a run for the door. Lunging headlong into the crush of people, with the lust for life translating into a deep, violent, atavistic rage inside me, I fight these moping ghouls which cling like napalm. I scream like a tripped-out junkie gripped by the fear, flailing my arms wildly, painfully aware of the need to hurry.
There isnít much time.
The doors are closing.
They wonít let me escape.
Weighted down by their oppressive melancholy, I can feel the passion ebbing away. Their apathy paralyzes me. I feel the flame in my soul quenched by a sea of sludgy gloom. What else can I do in the face of this inexorable adversary?
I have succumbed.






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Comments by other Members



Jekyll&Hyde at 15:43 on 20 January 2006  Report this post
md,

This is a great piece of writing. Fast, descriptive, visually perfect. You manage to put a lot into a short-short story without ruining it.

I enjoyed reading this. It's very well-written indeed!

Ste

md at 13:33 on 23 January 2006  Report this post
Jekyll & Hyde, thanks for your kind comments! I've not really shown work to anyone before and I'm really grateful for your feedback.

sazzyjack at 13:41 on 30 January 2006  Report this post
MD,
I agree with Ste, your writing is excellent. You don't waste a single word in this short piece, and it is, as ste said, "visually perfect". I know how difficult it can be to show your work to other people, putting a very private part of yourself on display as it were, but you obviously have a gift that would probably be even more satisfying if shared.

Sazzy


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