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The Fourth Planet

by Scott 

Posted: 10 August 2003
Word Count: 778


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I want to try a serious attempt at creating a group story; lets see if we are able to work together and put our abilities together to produce a story worth reading. You never know between us all we may create the best tale ever, add your contribution by continuing the story in your comment box

Good luck
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· This is a tale from times of old and far away, lost through the destruction of what is now man. I have translated the conscripts passed onto me by mysterious forces so that all can gather together and learn from the mistakes of past, some words and names have been changed from the original text so that you can comprehend the story at hand more easily and concentrate on the lessons to be learnt*


“So Captain what have you to devolve to myself, is the intelligence good?” said the old Master sat in his chair of withering power and draped in clothes once adorned with magnificent wealth

“Lord I’m sorry but the news from the fourth planet is not good”

The old masters heart sank to a depth from which he knew that it could never resurface, this was it, and his people were going to die with his ancient world

“Has the missions failed then, does none of the actions from our greatest minds and technology amount to nothing, to nothing at all that may save us from the most dreaded of faiths?”

“All but one has entirely failed Lord, the last I’m afraid have been lost through the death of the crew” remorsefully said the bowed headed Captain

“The re-generation mission?”

“Yes Lord”

“Is there anyway to recapture the apes?”

“The only way Lord is to send yet another crew and I’m afraid the chances of their survival would dwindle with each passing day, those terrible lizards that roam the land are merciless killers and even if they were to survive there is no saying that those apes are not long dead before we even set foot onto the soil of hell”

“That hell Captain is our only chance of survival”

“Then death may better suit us”

“Captain!” roared the master with frightful, powerful anger as he leapt to his feet despite his ailing years, “wish upon yourself what may be but upon your people to whom you serve wish no such fancy for I will not let this year be our last, we will prevail”

“But Lord all seems so unachievable, we have no defence against the giants that kill so willingly and the air cannot support our lungs without the aid of such machinery that would have us wanting for immediate death any how!”

To the captains face the master stepped, nose touching nose and wind of breath intertwined

“There is a solution to both of these problems Eversor!” sneered the Master with lust of power fighting for control in both his large grey eyes

The Captain stood firmly back and fought for the rule of domination in the conversation that spoke for the lives of all who dwelled on both the small red and yellow worlds

“It has been agreed Lord, we have no right to deliver such evil to those who cannot hope to defend themselves, what right do we have to destroy so many just for our own gain”

“It is us or them Captain and I know who I favour, we are men of peace and who value the pursuit of happiness to all those we can possibly help but these beasts are a menace that need riding of for the good of this world and their own”

“God will avenge any such actions you may wish to follow course in such a devastating manner, once we as a people take such action we may as well welcome death because evil will have embedded itself into our very being and I myself would not wish that into Gods beautiful universe. Perhaps this is our time and we should just welcome what be”

“Captain, listen to yourself you foolish being, you defy your own argument by aiding my own in what you say, don’t you see, if all that happens is to our wonderful God’s master plan then perhaps our ability to wipe out the monsters from the yellow planet is a gift from our God to do what he what’s to come to pass, to rid his universe from such evil!”

The Captain stood subdued by what he heard from his master; perhaps this was what was wanted of himself from the Lord all mighty, his God but could such a loving creator want for a terrible act of destruction






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Comments by other Members



Becca at 07:05 on 11 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Scott, I think the best place for something like this would be one of the forums, maybe you could put up a posting in the lounge forum asking if anyone is interested. It was an idea that was around a while back as a writing exercise/game. Have a word with David and Anna perhaps?

JohnK at 09:15 on 11 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Scott -
I'm interested. How about taking it one stage further? What if we also allow participants to pick up at any previous level, by following whichever thread they want? If I submitted a section now I would call '2a'. Anyone who wants to follow this track can call themselfves '3a', or they can backtrack and follow on from your section, along an alternative track, calling themselves '2b'. We might end up with a multi-track tale, giving the reader many options along the way.
I agree with Becca, the forum could be a better place, what do you think?

Regards, JohnK.

noddy at 21:28 on 13 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Scott,
What a miserable bunch of so-and-so's we are. We haven't really picked up on the whole group story thing that you've suggested. Perhaps it's because everybody's so busy writing their own stuff... or maybe reading all of the other great writing that's here on WW.

Just a thought... is it worth putting something a bit shorter up on the Forum for us to work with and seeing if you get any response. Maybe if it was limited to just a paragraph or a couple of sentences max then more people might respond.

Best Regards
Nod

Becca at 06:41 on 14 August 2003  Report this post
Scott, I think Nod's right there, not everyone looks at the shorts site, and if all of us were limited to say 150 -200 words each we could make the most surreal story. I once did the same thing with someone and it became like a competition between us where we'd put the character into really difficult situations and challenge the other to get him out of it. I used to make out like he'd just imagined the worst of them and really he was doing something else entirely, bit of a cop out, but then I'd introduce some idea that my writing partner had to struggle with.. It was fun, and I think we should do it. But if you look up the forum about cliches, we were on the verge of starting it there. Anna was involved in it then, why not have a word with her?

Scott at 11:11 on 31 August 2003  Report this post
I didn’t put an email notification on this like I usually do for my works so I had no idea I had all your replies. I have put this idea on a forum before but no one was interested at the time.

I liked JohnK idea and it could be interesting and I really liked Becca idea about the completeness between writers, a game almost which could result in a compelling story (or one that makes no sense 'doubled ended sword see')

If anyone wants a go at this or something similar then I think it could be fascinating


Scott

Becca at 17:22 on 06 September 2003  Report this post
Hi Scott, I suggest you email Anna and David and suggest it as a follow on idea to the 'Guess the Gender' game. It won't get much response here, and since there is a definite place for it, why not try to get it installed there,.. something like this could go on for ages and ages, but it needs David and Anna's backing.


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