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on the verge

by fran 

Posted: 18 March 2003
Word Count: 41

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Asleep, but on the verge of waking
I sense you climb down from my bed.
Then you, moving lightly around,
Gently tugging the sheets and the covers
Back into place.
And then this sadness
that you are not here
But that you are doing it for me, alone.

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Comments by other Members

Anna Reynolds at 16:44 on 10 April 2003  Report this post
This is lovely- a lot of emotion and atmosphere conveyed in such an economical little poem! Just shows you how often we all overwrite.

Adam at 22:25 on 14 April 2003  Report this post
This is a very nice poem indeed. Simple and understated, yet a lot is expressed in a very concise way. Also, I like the air of mystery and intrigue with which the reader is left after the final line. What are they doing for you?
Well done! I've written a similar yet different poem (if that makes sense!) called 'Sleepless Dreamer' which is on the website. Please read and tell me what you think!
Adam x

Richard Brown at 11:26 on 20 April 2003  Report this post
Subtle and very moving. I found that the words evoked very strong images to accompany the feelings - there were greens and blues, stillness and glancing sunlight in my imaginary room. More please.

PantsonFire at 20:36 on 31 May 2006  Report this post
this is really good

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