ANY CHAV WILL DO
(adapted from ‘Any Dream Will Do’ from the musical Joseph)

I wore my coat with Burberry lining
My kids are whining like they always do
It’s just the way young Chavs are these days
Their dad’s in Strangeways
Any Chav will do

My new best friend’s Coleen McLoughlin
And we go shoppin’ like good Chavs do
For Gucci bags and Nike trainers
She said that Wayne is
Her dream come true

A crash of chains, a flash of bling
Kev blagged me a sovereign ring
I’m old fashioned when we wed
Our tracksuits will be white

And in the end I’ll be on Trisha
Coz I’m a stripper, that’s what I do
I’ve earned enough to buy a Nova
With some left over
For a nice hairdo

Give me my Burberry coat
And blonde extension hair
That and my Burberry cap
That’s all I want to wear