 olebut at 19:16 on 07 August 2003
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Ellie
I think this is a great poem but I wondered why you displayed it in stanzas of 4 lines when it may work more effectively if you removed all the breaks,but it would then perhaps need some punctuation.
rock on
david
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bluesky3d at 10:30 on 08 August 2003
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Ellie
what great turns of phrase! ... evening light of furrowed gold ... shapes carved by thoughts ... a calm of settled wisdom ... she touched the gnotted wounds and felt the power of deep resource.
The images of the forest are incredibly evocative and I like the way you use the word 'she' ...it suggests a mysterious lady communing with nature, and finding herself.
Great stuff!
Andrew
<Added>
i vote to keep 'gnotted'
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 littlegypsyau at 11:22 on 08 August 2003
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very thought provoking ellie...it stirs my own imagination..
i enjoyed reading very much... :)
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stephanieE at 12:04 on 08 August 2003
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Ellie - I'm not a poem person, but I did quite like the images that this evoked. But is gnotted a word?
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Ellenna at 12:21 on 08 August 2003
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lol stephanie!
thank you ...( i should say get knotted ) heehee..thank you will alter immediately..
Ellie :)
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Ellenna at 12:26 on 08 August 2003
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David,Andrew, Wendy and Stephanie.. thank you for your comments.. and I am glad you enjoyed this despite one word being a bit gnarly ( as my kids might say!)
Ellie :)
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roger at 09:28 on 10 August 2003
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Hi Elle,
I'm not at all deep and meaningful, just the oposite...shallow. But this is the sort of D&M I like. Thought provoking and,as Andrew said, some lovely phrasing. I too was gnot quite sure about gnotted, but one little cock-up is gnot the end of the world, and you're sorting it anyway.
Lovely....the sort of thing I'd love to be able to do but, sadly, because I'm hapless, can't.
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JohnK at 00:10 on 13 August 2003
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Ellie -
Powerful words - I especially liked 'carved by thoughts'. We have an arboretum across from our house, and a long stroll through it gives many of the impressions you have captured. I'd love to illustrate your poem with photos. It leaves a great calming influence. Thanks, JohnK.
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Ellenna at 16:13 on 13 August 2003
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John what a wonderful idea!..this was inspired by a walk in ancient woodland not far from where I live..
Thank you for your comments :)
Ellie
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Tarocko1 at 17:06 on 09 September 2003
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Hi that was nice poem and i dont even like poems, So you can say that my comment does not mater but i still liked it
Good luck
Tarocko1
Ian Browne
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Ellenna at 17:45 on 09 September 2003
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Hey Tarocko.. thank you! I am really glad you like it :)
Your comment matters a great deal .. thanks...
Ellie:)
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Ticonderoga at 11:17 on 03 November 2003
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Ellie,
This is extremely beautiful, thought-provoking and moving. If you don't mind I gnoticed :) one small blemish; the language and imagery flow so sweetly evrywhere else that I couldn't help but feel 'leonine' hobbles the rhythm of that one line. One small tweek, perhaps? But, a really gorgeous piece of work.
Love & Mercy,
Mike
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tinyclanger at 13:41 on 06 November 2003
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Hi Ellie, fellow tree-watcher!
Thanks for directing me to this. I love the powerful imagery - at fiorst I trhought it was going to be a disturbing poem, but then the peace and tranquility came through. You have captured the 'otherness' of trees so well, and how refelctions on the natural can illuminate the human world/state of mind. I especially like the last 2 stanzas. I was there - see you again in the forest soon?!
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engldolph at 14:34 on 20 March 2004
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Hi Ellie,
Yes, liked how this is evocative of the light, the timelessness and strength of forests...
lines that caught me:
- the spiky lengths of mellowed sun (interesting that you use two contrasting words: spiky/mellow), seems to fit
- protecting our fragility
- an ancient stillness held her bound
I'm not quite sure how to read the rhythm...it seems to vary from precisely metered, lilting first/3rd verse ..to others that do not match this...
Best wishes,
mike
Archive » Ellenna » Work
Archive » Poetry » Nature » Work
Ancient
by Ellenna ( 2422 )
Posted: 07 August 2003
Word Count: 112
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