Dublin Nights by Ambitions of Lisa

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Dublin Nights

by Ambitions of Lisa

Posted: 09 December 2005
Word Count: 36

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Liffey water black
drips from the pump
in Paddy O'Shea's

I huddle by flames
beneath warm oak
olde-worlde beams

Traditionl fiddle
livens the place
with celtic melody

The whiskey flows
craic gets merry
the Irishman glows.

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Brian Aird at 17:28 on 11 December 2005 Report this post

I visited Dublin on business last week and only got inside a restaurant on an industrial estate (Sandyford), so I was especially pleased to see your piece here since it vividly described what I missed by not going into Dublin Town that trip.

Only one point; craic is spirited banter, so its like saying it twice. I have to say I always enjoy my time in Ireland and the people do indeed tend to make you feel welcome. For me though, its the taxi drivers who seem to talk to you like they've known you for years. The driver who picked me up at the airport went out of his way to explain how to catch the train to Sandyford from the airport - now that's Irish.

Brian

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joanie at 21:16 on 11 December 2005 Report this post

Hi Lisa.

I'm just looking at Brian's comment about the repetition of 'craic' and wonder whether you could change the format and lose a line from each stanza! This is quite drastic, but it just struck me.

Liffey water black
drips from the pump
in Paddy O'Shea's

I huddle by flames
beneath warm oak
olde-worlde beams

Traditionl fiddle
livens the place
with celtic melody

The whiskey flows
craic gets merry
the Irishman glows.

Yeah! I like it! What do you think?

Enjoyed. (Even though I have been to Dublin only once on a day trip)

joanie

<Added>

typo: traditional

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engldolph at 18:46 on 13 December 2005 Report this post

Hi Lisa,

Having been to Dublin several times, I recognized the images. Nicely descriptive..but perhaps too easily recognizable...needing something to give it more of an edge than just description..

enjoyed
Mike

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Ambitions of Lisa at 10:03 on 27 December 2005 Report this post

Thanks Brian, Joanie and Mike....
Have changed it a little as Joanie suggested, I like it! :)
Lis
x

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