|
|
Faceless No More
Posted: 29 November 2005 Word Count: 88 Summary: I met my birth mother last week. I wrote a few words about it... just as an initial record of my feelings... but I'm sure there'll be more to come. Comments welcomed. Related Works: Faceless Woman
|
Font Size
|
|
FACELESS NO MORE
I drove through blinding freezing fog nervous anticipation I'd waited so long
I stood shivering under a street lamp a November evening I'd never forget
I smoked limbs weak I approached your door through frosted glass I saw you
I smiled you took me in your arms faceless no more you are beautiful
....................................
EAST MEETS WEST
From a far off Eastern land you planted your seed deep within the Celtic West
Casanova of North Korea charming exotic heart of Asia I am your creation
Comments by other Members
| |
joanie at 21:00 on 29 November 2005
Report this post
|
Hi Lisa. I just love these thoughts which are so poignant, especially as they are rooted in your real experience.
I like the form of the first one: the first lines are powerful. I can really feel you! (If you see what I mean - you have conveyed your feelings so well by stating simple facts.)
'East meets West' is a lovely expression of your experience; whatever would we do without this medium. Whatever do non-poets do??
Very moving.
joanie
| |
old friend at 06:02 on 30 November 2005
Report this post
|
Lisa,
Within a few short paragraphs you have simply and beautifully encapsulated a life-changing event.
I don't know much about Poetry but I do know good, creative writing when I see it. Well done.
Len
| |
Brian Aird at 07:58 on 30 November 2005
Report this post
|
I read Faceless Woman in the archive; a poem that also moves, but its clear to see how you have developed as a writer with Faceless no More. And East meets West simply sparkles. You have found how to say more with less.
I look forward to reading more of your work here,
well done
Brian
| |
James Graham at 10:27 on 01 December 2005
Report this post
|
Joanie wonders what non-poets do when something really big happens in their lives. They often try to write a poem - but usually end up with a piece of doggerel, which is a shame because their effort falls so far short of the experience. Lisa, your two poems do what theirs fail to do. They certainly communicated to me, on the very first reading, an absolutely genuine, open-hearted feeling of discovery and delight. They have an immediate impact, as if they were songs.
But there are things to admire about the way the poems are written too, especially the first one. The unpunctuated verses with a pattern of shorter and longer lines give a sense of moving forward and hesitating - which doesn't only come from what the words are telling us about your nervousness and hesitation, but comes from the actual form of the poem too. And yet when we reach the last verse we feel that something has been crystallised too.
The last two lines are wonderfully effective, beginning and ending with two opposites which are so distant from each other in their implications, 'faceless' and 'beautiful'.
The other poem has that same immediacy - my first response was delight at the way it sweeps aside all barriers of distance and cultural difference. None of that matters - the impulse of the poem is to reach out across the globe.
James.
|
|
| |
Ambitions of Lisa at 20:53 on 09 December 2005
Report this post
|
Wow!
Thank you Joanie, Len, Brian and James....for such positive comments. It means a lot, especially as I consider the subject matter.
Appreciated.
Lisa
| |
| |