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An Angry Heart

by bassfiend 

Posted: 15 March 2003
Word Count: 98


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I have no grace in my soul,
I am a mix of emotions,
Holiness, wonder, bought and sold
The broken pieces tell it all.
A different world why should I stay?
Too many secrets endless waiting.
A time to wish your life away
I am as empty as a desert.
I see nothing as I look to the sky,
I taste the rain, all your lies.
Society's victims destroyed by disdain,
Stare into the eye of the hurricane.
A sea of green, a sky of red
An angry heart and a fucked up head.
From a callow youth to an age-old fool,
Click my heels three times, but I was born to lose.






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Comments by other Members



Anna Reynolds at 21:38 on 04 April 2003  Report this post
There are some fabulous lines here- it feels very much like a song lyric. The first and last lines are gorgeous. It feels like a letter written by someone at the end of something.. a suicide note.. a song of despair. In some ways it does feel like an awful lot is crammed into a short poem -- there's such a lot of good stuff in here, some beautiful composition. Can you tell us anything about your thinking behind this? (I know that's a difficult question to answer!- but I'm curious to know.)

poemsgalore at 18:59 on 09 July 2003  Report this post
"I am as empty as a desert." What a powerful line this is, makes sense of all the rest for me. Wonderful stuff, very lyrical.

Tuppence at 10:57 on 19 December 2004  Report this post
nice one

paul53 [for I am he] at 11:17 on 01 March 2005  Report this post
There is great potential here, but on first reading I saw much of it as random lines pieced together - well-described but loosely connected as if searching to express the inner feelings. This poem could be redrafted and polished into something excellent.

Kara at 15:01 on 18 March 2005  Report this post
lovely use of language- I'd like to HEAR it read . Great stuff!

starla at 21:11 on 25 June 2005  Report this post
I agree that there are lots of ideas fighting for space in here, but it is also packed full of emotion. I definitely think it's worth more work - give this poem the justice it deserves. It reminds me of a lot of Manic Street Preachers lyrics.

PantsonFire at 20:36 on 31 May 2006  Report this post
this is really good

MarkT at 16:06 on 21 July 2006  Report this post
this is great with some fantastic lines.

The only trouble I have with poetry is I find it hard to read as the author intends.

but top job nevertheless.

Mark


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