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The Etc Poem....(revised)

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 13 November 2005
Word Count: 288
Summary: Funny that but.......
Related Works: A Little Sacred Air • 

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The Etc Poem....

It was only when I fumbled for my change
that the taxi driver noticed I had no trousers on,

it was only when you hit me with the vacuum cleaner
that I noticed all the old attachments were gone,

it was only when the bullet exploded in my heart
that I realised why you had knitted me that bulls eye sweater,

it was only when I tasted the salt of my own blood
that I noticed you possessed a lovely upper cut,

it was only when the dog bit my Gran and then mysteriously died
that I noticed that she'd out lived all the family pets we'd ever had,

it wasn't until my auntie Margaret looked like a tiny bird
that I noticed how death needs to humiliate us before it does it's worst,

it wasn't until I watched my friend carrying the small white coffin
of his youngest child that I noticed how heavy lightness weighed,

it wasn't until I woke up with your mad cat sat on my head
that I noticed how well cats bounced off your padded walls,

it wasn't until the burglar emptied my flat
that I noticed how much crap I really had n't any more,

it wasn't until I saw you startled and naked and pink and pert
that I noticed how much I really loved the cold mornings,

it wasn't until the poet said ' this is a poem about my big cock'
that I noticed how bloody loveless his poetry really was,

it wasn't until the Miner held my father in his arms
at my grannies graveside and kissed him on the mouth
that I noticed there was another way of being a man.

John G.Hall(C)2005

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Comments by other Members

Elsie at 20:02 on 13 November 2005  Report this post
Hi John, I enjoyed reading this. It seems to stagger, lurch, between very funny stanzas to very poignant, and thought provoking. I wonder who the poet you refer to is/was?

Shika at 11:49 on 14 November 2005  Report this post
Hi John

I read this over the weekend but wanted to wait a bit before giving some feedback. As always this hits the spot. But we now have to give more specific feedback so here goes:

I thought you charted a very interesting journey from the ridiculous to the sublime. Or a journey from fantasy, to adult hood and maturity.

I felt so moved by the second part of the poem, which for me, began with the bit about a different way of being a man that I could not recall the humour of the first verse. I liked that though. I think the observations from that point onwards were breathtaking and honest but never overdone. I hope this makes sense my thoughts a rambling a bit. I hope this helps though. S

Elsie at 15:04 on 14 November 2005  Report this post
This revision is great:
[quote]it wasn't until I watched my friend carrying the small white coffin
of his youngest child that I noticed how heavy lightness weighed, [/unquote]


Ooops - I'm clearly not an html-er

joanie at 21:02 on 14 November 2005  Report this post
John, I smiled, laughed and almost cried as I read this.
how heavy lightness weighed
is just beautiful, and I also love the last verse.


John G.Hall at 12:42 on 25 January 2006  Report this post

Just wanted to thank everyone for their comments that helped in the revision of this poem. It is being published later in the year in Manchester's 'Ugly Tree' poetry magazine. Cheers.


John G.Hall

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