By the time our specially hired American style long limousine decorated with 'just married' signs reached Nick's home, his family were already there waiting for us. The house was decorated in the same way as Seema's house. In the entrance stood Nick's sister Mona and his mother who welcomed us with a small arti of lighted lamps and red tikka's with rice being thrown over our heads for peace, prosperity, health, wealth and luck. I entered with my right foot first as per custom into my new home. Nick followed and hurried upstairs, while I was taken into the lounge to meet friends and other family members. There we were all making small talk but no sign of Nick. I was feeling nervous and restless. As time went on and I did not see Nick I felt something was wrong. But what and why? Eventually I asked my mother-in-law

'Mumiji, Nick is not here and I am worried. He went upstairs as soon as we came in and there is no sign of him yet.'

'He might be resting, Twinkle. We will go upstairs as soon as the people start leaving.' Nick's mum replied.

Now, I wished everybody would just disappear. I tried to smile and nod to everyone congratulating me, not that I knew everyone. My mother-in-law introduced everyone but I was in a daze, tired and thinking what the hell Nick was up to. Perhaps he was going to surprise me with something special. Yes, that is it, I thought and so I waited in anticipation. Soon people started leaving. Nick's mum said

'Let's can go upstairs now Twinkle and see how Nick is doing.'

We both went upstairs. My mother-in-law opened the room, which was going to be ours. On the edge of the bed was Nick sitting with a packed suitcase beside him. He had changed into jeans and a T-shirt. I was stunned to see him at this hour almost 12.00 p.m. dressed like that. My mother-in-law moved fast -

'What's this Nick? WHY are you dressed like that and what is this suitcase for.'

Without making any eye contact with us Nick spoke

'I am leaving mum. You wanted an Indian daughter-in-law. I have married an Indian girl. But you always knew that it was Sophia whom I loved and wanted to marry in the first place.'

I could not believe what I was hearing. Oh God, Oh God this is not happening. Please, please let this be a nightmare. But it wasn’t...Nick stood up with his suitcase and started to walk out...

'No...No..' I suddenly screamed 'Nick, no. What are you saying? Why did you marry me then? Do you realise what this will do to my parents and me? Why did you choose me for this purpose, oh why?' I went down on my knees sobbing and holding on to his leg.

'I am sorry Twinkle. Before I tried to convince my family and parents especially, at that time my father got a heart attack and my mum took an overdose of pills, which nearly killed her. Everybody blamed me...so I broke up with Sophia, but I could not forget her. No one understood me or stood by me. The only chance I thought was to marry an Indian girl and then leave.'

'Who is Sophia?'

'She is Italian and we work together. We had a relationship and I love her. Twinkle, I said I liked you but I never said I loved you. '

'Because you had not said you loved me means you are trying to shift the blame on to me. No, Nick you cannot do this. Sometimes you do not need to say the word love yet it is understood. I thought you loved me so I never waited for you to say it.'

'Sorry Twinkle. Please take care of yourself and make sure my family are OK, I will forever be grateful. If you can forgive me.'

‘No wait, Nick. Please don’t go tonight. At least wait till the morning. We are tired and stressed out from today’s ceremonies. After resting we can think better. I am sure we work things out.’ I pleaded tearfully.

‘If I do that I will lose my nerve. Besides Sophia is waiting for me downstairs.’ Nick replied.

‘Let him go.’ I heard my mother-in-law say ‘I will just think my son has died.’ She continued.

I stood there caught between these people thinking what to do and I spoke

‘Mumji, stop that. How can you say that.’

Nick spoke sadly ‘ Whatever your feelings mum, if you had tried to get to know Sophia before you made your mind up it might have opened your eyes to a lot of things. Anyway, what ever you think of me I still love you all and hope one day we can all be together again.’

With that Nick was gone, from my life, from this family whom I hardly knew yet, shattering my dreams, my beliefs. Everyone was stunned, in a daze. I just collapsed on the bed, with hot tears running down on my face burning my skin. All the Gods which were invoked today could not do anything - I was alone, lonely on this my wedding night. Twinkle what an UNLUCKY girl you are!!!

The ring from my mobile suddenly transmitted my thoughts to the present. I picked the mobile pressing the talk button

‘Hello’ I answered

‘Hi, it’s me Seema’ the voice at the other end spoke.

‘Hi, Seema’ I said in a weak voice.

‘Are you sleeping’ was Seema’s next question.

‘No’ I answered.

Seema chuckled saying ‘Well did the heaven and earth move for you. It did for me. God, I feel sore. I am being a bit naughty asking you.’

I did not know what to say

‘Twinkle’ Seema prodded

I replied ‘Yeah, heaven and earth moved for me too, out popped a girl called Sophia who took Nick away from me ruining my life and everyone else’s.’

‘What the hell are you talking about’ Seema spoke agitated.

‘Hell, too right that is the word. Seema I did not want to tell you this and I would not have if you hadn’t rung. I did not want to ruin the bliss of the golden period that is after marriage. Seema Nick left me last night for an Italian girl called Sophia.’

Seema breathed ‘The bastard. Sophia is a two-year-old history, which everyone had forgotten about including Nick. This just proves how deeper then the ocean a human mind is. No one can reach such depths.’

I questioned ‘So you knew about Sophia? Why didn’t you tell me? Of course Nick wouldn’t have told me if he was planning this way out all along. But you, you are my best friend. I trusted you.’

‘You can still trust me.’ Seema pleaded ‘Let me tell you one thing none of us were really keen on the relationship between her and Nick. Sophia is someone we knew from our college and uni days. She did not have a very good reputation. We just can not figure have they both hitched up together.’ Seema explained.

‘Well let me tell you one thing Seema. Nick has laid his bed so he will have to lay it for the rest of his life. We could have been dynamic together. You know how ambitious and hard working I am.’ I said determined, but I still could not stop the tears coming and started to wail down the mobile.

‘Keep your chin up. Stay determined and focused to that thought.’ Seema said encouragingly.

I sobbed saying ‘I want to remain determined and focused but at the moment I feel cheated, humiliated and above all I am worried about my parents and their reputation.’

Seema was quiet, listening to my outburst

‘I can see all our other relatives and even some of our friends sniggering and laughing behind my parents back and possibly telling them how stupid they were to send me on my own so far away, giving me too much freedom.’ I continued to lament.

Seema interrupted ‘Twinkle, listen get a hold on yourself. I am coming over with my mum, dad and yours. Uncle and Aunt will need support as well.’ Before I could say anything she switched the mobile off. I could not be bothered to ring her back, as I needed support. I did not want to face anyone alone.

I sat up on the bed. Exactly opposite were three large wardrobes with large mirrors. I could imagine three images of myself. One the carefree Twinkle in India, the second the bride, the third blank --- no my conscious was telling me see again and there stood a new proud Twinkle with her MBA. Yes that is what I am going to achieve. That is my goal now. I got up with new energy, removed all my bridal clothes and jewellery packing them away neatly. I made one pile, which was mine from my family; the other pile was what was given to me as a daughter-in law from my in-laws. This second pile I will have to return as I no longer saw myself as part of this family.

I got bathed and dressed in T-shirt and Jeans and waited for everyone to arrive. Within an hour they had all arrived as I could hear loud crying and voices. I heard footsteps hurrying towards the bedroom and Seema burst in. She came and gave me a big hug. My mum and dad followed her. My mum’s eyes were puffed up from crying and my dad’s eyes were red also from crying. Seeing so much love and affection I burst into tears also. I said to my mum

‘I am not your lucky girl after all. The Gods have written a different destiny for me.’

My mum replied ‘You are still my lucky girl.’ Taking me into her arms, she continued ‘God has saved you. What if Nick had gone to her after a year or after you were pregnant. It would have completely lost your chances of having a new life again. No, beta, have faith in God. What the divine creator does is for our own good.’
Everyone was upstairs now. My mother-in-law spoke sadly

‘I am ashamed. I do not know how to console you all. Please come downstairs in the lounge where we can all sit comfortably and sort this mess out.’

I looked at the time it was 1 o’clock in the afternoon. We followed my mother-in-law downstairs. I felt sorry almost pity for my in-laws. Nick was their only son and hope for their old age. Mona was young, a daughter who would marry and move away. Well, I am going to tell Mona to be strong, do not let any man manipulate you and make it clear to him about ‘love’ and the fact that you will be looking after your parents, so no arguments after marriage.

All the elders discussed various options. Nick and I would have to get divorced of course, but not immediately. Seema and Mona were next to me giving me a lot of moral support.

‘It’s my life they are discussing and no one was asking me what I want or what my wishes were.’ I whispered to Seema.

Seema whispered back. ‘Wait and listen to what they have to say. You can assert your self when the options are given to you. If you do not like any of the options tell them.’ So I waited………and the options came

a. Continue to stay with my in-laws and pursue my MBA and career. But I did not want this. It would remind me of Nick. Besides what guarantee was there that if Nick returned, my in-laws would not change their attitude towards me, after all Nick was their own flesh and blood.

b. Go back to India with my parents. Again I thought why should I? If I did I would have to face seeing my parents sadness and sniggers from everyone else. Life would be hard if I went back. Life would be hard if I stayed in UK to do my MBA but at least I would have more freedom here than back home in India.

c. Stay with Seema’s parents until I found someone else to share my life with. In the meantime I could continue with my MBA. I did not want this. I did not want to be obligated to anyone anymore. Seema and her family had done enough for me, I was already indebted to them for the wedding expenses and it would not be fair on them to keep me with them.