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Concealed Paradise

by Dark One 

Posted: 02 August 2003
Word Count: 241
Summary: A losely based re-work of the 'A City Dwelling Paradise' based on some very good suggestions. Is this any better?


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Paradise Concealed

Into the light of a concealed paradiseís love
I escape to uncharted serenity
Revitalised by the natural air
I find myself overwhelmed with youth and vitality
The angels play here in the remnants of Eden
Their peaceful song carried by the fresh breeze
That gently whispers in my ear
And rustles tranquillity through the trees
With only shards of light breaking the still
I know this is as close to heaven as I will tread
But ruefully I must return to the city of lead

Into the dark of the human machineís nest
I return to proverbial commotion
Suffocated by the polluted air
I find myself subdued with age and deterioration
The devils infect this post human invasion
Their triumphant anthem screams on the storm
That gradually corrodes my mind
And from their ravages perdition has formed
The disease is malignantly killing us all
I know this is the inevitable path I will follow
Leaving paradise for hell to swallow

This is a war and the battle lines are drawn
For which side to take the heart is torn
The army of green with all thatís serene
Or the army of lead that keeps us well fed
No matter where you chose to rest your faith
The modern Gods are forever hungry
And will consume the Motherís art
Taking away the few precious drops of heaven left
And without the beating of the Motherís fragile heart
We are lost







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Comments by other Members



poemsgalore at 16:32 on 02 August 2003  Report this post
This is a very deep poem Tom, I like the images you have created, especially the lines
"The angels play here in the remnants of Eden
Their peaceful song carried by the fresh breeze
That gently whispers in my ear
And rustles tranquillity through the trees"

Ellenna at 10:05 on 31 August 2003  Report this post
I missed this for some reason until now.. but I like this..it expresses that dichotomy of the citylife and nature .. (Well, I say follow your heart. :)...and I also like the lines that Kathleen has highlighted too ..beautifully expressed!

Ellie


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