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Martyr
Posted: 01 August 2003
Word Count: 104
Summary: On reading the profile of a 19 yr old Palestinian female suicide bomber in the newspaper.
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She bought blue jeans and girly top
and make-up from a western shop
she'd wear them once and then she'd stop
and wake in paradise
She left her home in robe and veil
with martyrs' prayers she would not fail
and history called her bruised and stale
to wake in paradise
She pulled tight jeans on: pursed red lips
and checked the straps from waist to hips
the bomb was primed and would eclipse
her steps to paradise
Just one more girl, she crossed the floor
she'd smiled at guards who blocked the door
and joined the surging crowd before
she woke in paradise.
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Comments by other Members
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 Dark One at 09:14 on 02 August 2003
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Wow this is a absolutely brillant poem and I really love the imagery of a sucide bomber being just a normal person, an 'anyone and everyone' but convince that through her actions she will somehow find 'paradise'. I just think that is amazing and I really like this poem. You have a real talent and I would love to read more of your work
Dark One
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poemsgalore at 12:13 on 02 August 2003
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How amazing, and brilliantly written. Loved the construction of the lines and verses - sounds very lyrical and like a song when read out loud. Although a serious subject, it's also a very light poem and easy to read.
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Ellenna at 12:20 on 02 August 2003
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wow yes I agree with everything that has been said..you almost feel the level of expectancy as she prepares for her "date with paradise"... great stuff..and it also definitely gives a twinge of unease too.
Ellie :)
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llydstp at 12:21 on 02 August 2003
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Peter
An incredible poem - one of the most powerful I have read. I liked the way your wonderful words lull the reader into thinking the girl is shedding her traditional garb to accept the ways of the western world. I first read 'Paradise' as her conception of our way of life, it was only later on in the poem that I realised that 'Paradise' had a more literal meaning. I loved the pace of your writing. Fantastic stuff.
Steve
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peterxbrown at 00:50 on 03 August 2003
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Thank you for the encouraging comments which are appreciated! The ordinariness of the girl and her extreme action fascinated me.
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fevvers at 10:32 on 03 August 2003
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Peter
Do you know the form ghazal? It's a Persian form that uses a repeated line (or radif) at the end of each verse and has a strong rhyme preceding it. Have a look at it, you might find it interesting. Not many Westerners write in it but a few do. I'm sure you'd be able to soure it from the Internet if you were interested.
Cheers
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peterxbrown at 00:45 on 04 August 2003
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Thanks for the info favvers, I have never heard of ghazal but will certainly research it.
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LONGJON at 02:39 on 04 August 2003
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Hello Peter,
Well done, a very resolved, fluid style, the work of someone comfortable with language and ideas and not afraid of making them work.
Look forward to more pieces.
John P.
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Ioannou at 10:37 on 29 August 2003
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Heartbreaking really. Rhythm great. Thoughtprovoking. More soon? Love, Maria.
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Fearless at 21:19 on 27 September 2003
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Peter
I like this. I guess if you believe, in your heart of hearts, that you live in hell, you will do almost anything to change your world and enter paradise?
As for Ghazals........it's a beautiful form. In music, check out the artist Ghulam Ali, and for one of the great poets, Mir Taqi Mir.
Fearless
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peterxbrown at 02:39 on 28 September 2003
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Thank you so much Fearless. I shall certainly check out the work and Mir Taqi Mir. As usual you are full of helpful ideas.
I think your comments are very valid too.
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