|
|
 |
Aira force
Posted: 17 October 2005
Word Count: 37
Summary: Not sure whether anyone will like this - had intended it to be much longer but the words seemed to carry it to a finish.
|
Font Size
|
|
Oh Aira force,
How beautiful thou art.
Crashing in a crescendo of sound
Natures noise
So vibrant
So free
Not tied to time or life
like me.
And yet,
Thou art trapped,
Forced
Through craggy rocks
Eternally.
|
Comments by other Members
| |
 Brian Aird at 17:26 on 17 October 2005
 Report this post
|
I googled Aira to find Aria Force is of course, a watefall (in Ullswater).
The formal voice 'thou art', suggested reverence, but the waterfall only seems eternal because the Lake District gets so much rain! Still reverence can be due to the ephemeral too.
A watefall is nothing without the great cycles of water dependent life that keep (most of) our planet at temperatures where water is neither ice nor steam. So strictly speaking they would be tied to time and life. Even the rocks have a life span - given a long enough time line.
But I quibble, everything's relative.
I have to confess to be greatly awed by waterfalls, not enough to go over one in a barrel, but certainly enough to enjoy your lovely poem. I too feel insignificant when confronted with nature's forces.
Brian
P.S. I sat in a watefall once communing with nature, eating my sandwiches; until an entire local family turned up, stripped off, and jumped in just below where I sat. Does nakedness spoil the sublime? It's all relative.
| |
 paul53 [for I am he] at 19:32 on 17 October 2005
Report this post
|
I'm sure some will frown at the reverent tone elicited from the experience. Well, shame on them. Nature can sometimes do that, and if it no longer does - a good holiday is in order.
I think I would have shortened the third line to:
"a crashing crescendo"
or similar, as your line is verging on tautology.
But I also take Brian's point. Many things combined o make the waterfall how it looked and sounded when you viewed it. At the same time, all those combination of people being attracted to one another down the generations of History made you [and me, and him, and her over there] just as unique and irreplaceable.
| |
 joanie at 19:47 on 17 October 2005
Report this post
|
Hi, ccatherine. I, too, googled! I think this poem expresses very well the overwhelming feelings we often have when we look at something in nature as forceful as this.
I love the comparison with 'me' and the idea that, although free, it is trapped forever. I like the old-fashioned 'thou art' in this context.
I think you need to decide whether you are going to have capitals or not at the start of lines, and how much punctuation generally you have. At the moment it seems a bit haphazard.
One typo: 'Nature's noise'.
I enjoyed it.
joanie
| |
Clairebear at 07:05 on 18 October 2005
Report this post
|
I really like the line 'not tied to time or life like me'. There's something sad yet beautiful about this poem. It stirs a feeling of yearning when I read it.
Nice work.
| |
| |
Comments by other Members
