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<insert name here>

by hailfabio 

Posted: 17 October 2005
Word Count: 86


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Silky dark hair, surrounds her face.
Actions with grace compliment tanned skin.
Not afraid to sin, alive to the world.

She follows the sun
and takes my soul in her eyes.
Deep blue and oceans of suprise;
they tell me things I've never known.

Strong on her own,
no one's to own.
Can see her glow.
Can see her grow.

My stomache cramps
when I know I won't have her.
I think I could complete her
but will never know.

Hope she waits for me somewhere.






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Comments by other Members



Ambitions of Lisa at 11:05 on 17 October 2005  Report this post
This is beautiful Stephen.....


Elsie at 14:40 on 17 October 2005  Report this post
Stephen - like your title - it caught my attention and made me smile. The sentiment of it made me think of James Blunt's current hit track - about being in love with someone unknown. Did you mean compliment or complement? A little typo on 'stomach' - maybe you were thinking ahead to 'ache'. Nice end line - I hope she waits, too.

hailfabio at 15:27 on 17 October 2005  Report this post
Elsie, thanks for the typos.

Yes I think this could be about being in love with someone you don't know or have never met.

Cheers
Stephen

joanie at 19:53 on 17 October 2005  Report this post
Hi Stephen. Clever title! I can't help wondering why you need to save her - from what? ....her life without you, perhaps?

I like
takes my soul in her eyes.
Deep blue and oceans of suprise

...but I think the poem would be better without the third verse. (Just a personal preference)

The last line's very poignant - and quite hopeful!

joanie



hailfabio at 20:44 on 17 October 2005  Report this post
Yes joanie, comple her would be 'complete her' not 'save her'.

Thanks
Stephen


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