Me Thinks

I sit here
I try not to think
Every time I start to think my mind reels
What if when the day comes
I am doomed to hell?
If there is no hell
What then?
Where will...?
Who will...?
How...?
So...?
WHY!
Why must my head always ask
What my heart does not know?
Some people answer questions with religion
Not I
Religion is the easy answer;
It could have been created by someone with too much time
It could be the truth
In the end I just give in
What's the use?
I think therefore I am
Or is it I am therefore I think?

Thinking The Thoughts That Aren't Real

We all have eyes but rarely do we see
We all listen yet we do not hear
We all think but we do not consider
We all touch but do not linger
We all have tongues but do not speak

You have eyes but do you see
You have ears so listen to me
Is this real this world so vain
Is it worth all our pain

Feeling things that aren't there
Thinking thoughts I can't bare

Species Tubeus Trainus

Underneath the crust, where the orb-topped people lie,
Live the large white snakes with many mouths.
They travel along very fast,
Leaving trails of silver behind.
Everyday they get very hungry,
Usually around 5pm.
They go to the feeding stations.
Many orb-topped creatures wait.
It opens it's mouths.

Tricked into thinking this is the only way,
They all pack in, pressed against each other.
The snake travels along.
When it stops it opens it's mouths,
And spits out some of the creatures,
Having eaten their dignity and taken their pride.
Then without second thought it moves into the tunnels.
The creatures exit their 'underground'.

Seasons

Now is the winter of discontent.
As our dreams remain absent,
When fools are born.
The mighty mourn,
Tragedies played.
Whilst hopes are flayed,
Cold winds blow.

Now is the spring of regrowth,
Dreams return to their oath.
When words are taught,
Wars are sought.
In vain loyalty,
Highbreed royalty,
Greets the rain.

Now is the summer of lethargy.
Dreams speak in eulogy.
Those who do not exist,
Wait in the mist,
Love triumphs.
Despair galumphs,
Into searing heat.

Now is the autumn of ending,
As dreams begin mending.
The fabric of reality,
In superficiality,
Plasters cracks,
And turns it's backs.
Gold leaves fall.

Puddles

I just lay here calm and content
The storm is over.
the wind gently blows over my surface
i shiver with delight.
the sun shines down, as i look up
the solid earth below.

something comes.
the earth vibrates.
another storm?
there is thunder.
no it is something worse.

chaos
my calm is shattered.
as quickly as it came
it is gone.
i pull myself together.
stop my insides spinning.

part of myself is missing
lost in the chaos
taken by; it.

it's hot.
too hot.
i'm drying.

Mercury

Tears roll from my eyes,
All for the loss of you.
But so fragile this mournful guise,
For your pain is over, you are born anew.
We watched as you slowly suffered,
But you were yourself to the end.
Whispers of adoration are still uttered,
And to our children the memory we'll lend.
Memories of the great entertainer,
Memories cherished with respect.
....
Memories made in love.

Coward

You can’t take this away from me, I won’t let it happen
It’s my life I’m giving, my dream I’m living
How can you say I don’t fit in
That I’m not normal, that I’m bedecked in sin

You act like a sheep
You just follow the crowd
But now you’re in too deep
‘Cause you’re screaming out loud
You’ve got no future
No idea of what to do
Your brain’s in a suture
Oh how I pity you

You wear the ignorance of your society
Stupidity and malice, emptiness and greed
You insult me and say I’m an ugly bitch
Well just looking at you makes my fists itch

You act like a sheep
You just follow the crowd
But now you’re in too deep
‘Cause you’re screaming out loud
You’ve got no future
No idea of what to do
Your brain’s in a suture
Oh how I pity you

You don’t deserve my pity, you don’t deserve my guile
But maybe it’ll piss you off, if I take it with a smile
Because there’s always something you don’t know
An’ that’s how to mature, how to grow

You act like a sheep
You just follow the crowd
But now you’re in too deep
‘Cause you’re screaming out loud
You’ve got no future
No idea of what to do
Your brain’s in a suture
Oh how I pity you

Spirals

Chorus
I am guilty of sin, but I cannot repent
I am worthy of hate, dishonour, resent
I give my all and so much more
All you do is show me the door
I am a person, nothing important
A blameless soul, a faceless innocent

Verse 1
Do you think before you speak?
Rumours from your mouth that leak
Hurt me ‘cause I’m better than you
But you don’t see it from my point of view
It isn’t the colour of my skin
It isn’t what lies deep within
You hate me because I’m free
You loathe me because I’m me

Verse 2
Bottled pain of the years
All my failures, hopes and fears
Vintage age ’95
A good year to take a dive
The latest fashion in all the stores
Was to take some pills and lock the doors
What’s that smear on my face? Is it blood?
Feel the anger flowing, feel it flood

Chorus
I am guilty of sin, but I cannot repent
I am worthy of hate, dishonour, resent
I give my all and so much more
All you do is show me the door
I am a person, nothing important
A blameless soul, a faceless innocent

Bridge
Hate me because I’m a freak and proud
Hate me because I stand out in the crowd
Distrust me tell me I’m a fraud
Maim me in the name of your lord
Beat me down, oppress my views
Let the devil pay his dues
Stare at me, insult my ways
Dog me ‘til my end of days

Chorus
I am guilty of sin, but I cannot repent
I am worthy of hate, dishonour, resent
I give my all and so much more
All you do is show me the door
I am a person, nothing important
A blameless soul, a faceless innocent

All In The Name Of Love

Rend my flesh and scream in joy
Chaining me to the bed with promises of pain
Drawing my blood with your favourite toy
And leaving me there to beg in vain

Cuting me deep with knife or whip
You sting me with your paddle-board
You suck, bite, scratch and nip
And tie me down with silver cord

I've a thousand scars from your burning brand
You leave me aching in a pool of blood
You've beaten me so bad I could not stand
And grind my face in dirt and mud

I lick your boots clean with my tongue
Treating me like an ashtray, you stub out your cigarette
As your stilettoe heel digs into my lung
And dress me in the uniform of an usherette

You take me by the collar and throw me in my cage
All this cannot compare to the evil words you've said
Then beat me with a baseball bat in a fit of rage
They cut me deep inside and leave me feeling dead

"It's all for you my love, these games that we play.
What hurts you pleases me, so allow me if I may,
To continue loving you and treating you this way."

I submit myself to a torture so new
As such slander does on my heart so heavily weigh
That I realise I love her too
And beneath her heel I wish to stay.

Heritage

I bleed for a cause
A cause that isn't worthy
I delve into insanity
And that makes you proud
Ruled by stupidity
Forgotten by hope
There's only one choice
One choice i know

I give up what you gave me
Pettyness and slease
Give up on my life
Your sexually transmitted disease

You caused me pain
Plagued me from my birth
Yet you give me more
More than i deserve
Because now you give me choice
But leave with no options
Now you teach emotions
And leave me no control

I reject what you give me
Slandering and greed
Reject the thought of living
And now i'm on my knees

There's a gun in my hand
And a knife in my back
An' this barrell feels so good
It makes me wanna cry
I'm ending it with style
Now i kiss the world goodbye

Somewhere

Somewhere in my one dream,
Lives a man who cannot speak,
He cannot sing, he cannot lie,
He cannot laugh or ask or sigh.
Every dream I see his thoughts,
With questions why they are wrought.

Somewhere in the world outside,
Lives the girl who cannot see,
She cannot see the daffodils,
She cannot see the plush green hills.
Everyday she goes to school,
And she is made to look the fool.

Somewhere in the darkest silence,
Lives the person who cannot hear.
He cannot hear the old man's thoughts,
She cannot hear the pain she's wrought.
For her sight he won't mourn,
She cannot hear the cries at dawn.

God is the person who cannot hear,
So save your breath, save a tear.

One Man's Desire....

The cloud expanse covered the midnight sky.
It had no business here, just pleasure.
The man lay gently by his woman's side,
But he was no gentleman.
He held the woman with the arms of a whore.
For he was no better than those who sold their desire upon the streets.
He used poor excuses to stay from her side.
She loved him without reason or return.
He desired loose morals.
She showed devotion and loyalty.
He showed a trait worse than rape;
Betrayal.
Many a man knew of his crime.
Few men dare speak the truth.
She withered, wilted and died,
In the thirst for his love,
In the endless season of drought.
Something was missing;
The care she had taken,
The love she had given freely,
The warmth of her body,
Or just the sound of her heart.
Something was missed.
He could bare it no longer.
He desired oblivion.
You don't always receive what you desire.

....Another Woman's Hell

The cloud expanse covered the midnight sky.
It held no pleasure in business.
The woman felt his body,
But felt no pride.
She manipulated his arms to hold her.
For she was a caniving soul, scheming and no better than he.
She 'performed' for him and hid her enjoyment.
He shadowed his love.
She desired display.
He gave the audience.
She 'performed' to gain;
Lust.
No-one knew her heart.
Few women tell their secrets.
She withered, wilted and died,
In a thirst for his approval,
In the downpour of criticism.
Someone was wronged;
The care she had taken,
The love she had sacrificed,
The warmth of his body,
Or just the focus of his attention.
Someone was wrong.
She did not bare it alone.
There was no oblivion.
Punishment is torture best shared with a lover.